Portal (PC) review "It is the cake."

I got into Portal backwards. Everyone was singing that song, and there was some noise about a scary sentient computer, and then Chell. I still don’t know what half of it all means, and it’s unlikely we’ll ever learn what became of her in the “smash-hit” sequel—at least Valve has the sense to sew up the storyline with a healthy dose of multiplayer awesomeness. Or so I hear; the rumours have been thick with this now classic simulation-puzzler.

YouTube was my vector into the story and gameplay of Portal. Yes, I watched the entirety of it straight to the ending. I spoiled the whole thing and still wanted in. Perhaps the cake was a lie, but Portal is brilliant and eminently playable. It wasn’t long before I got into Steam and bought it. This was my introduction to digital downloads and my relentless acceptance of the intangible distribution system. In the 1990s, the idea was strange, but when it went mainstream ten years later, Portal was my Killer App, and I was glad for the transition.

To say that the voice acting and storytelling are exceptional is a vast understatement. Portal was vicariously connected to another fascinating world full of lore and possibilities. I was drawn into the mythos of Portal as much as I was its gameplay. Which, by the way, are deceptively simple, as all great role-playing action puzzle simulation games are. That’s not a genre; I just made it up.

In Portal, you are a testing associate guided by a slightly insane-sounding female AI to complete tests. In boxes. (Also with boxes.) Lasers, pools of poisonous water, sweet-talking bullet-slinging turrets, companion cubes and incinerators are all your obstacles and solutions. Each puzzle has a holistic learning curve, with each successive challenge adding another dimension that you must incorporate into your computing.

By the time everything goes awry, you’ll be flinging yourself incredible distances with little to no regard for physics, dropping boxes on turrets, and dodging bullets like a military android. Not that you’ll be congratulating yourself. You’ll be too preoccupied with paying close attention to GLaDOS’ misdirections and veiled threats. Before soon, they’re not so veiled, and you’ll have broken out of the box and will be puzzling for your continued existence. Because GLaDOS will be trying to kill you in a curious way that holds enough fascination for its sequel.

What makes Portal work so well isn’t the fluidity of the puzzles or the even difficulty curve and beautifully executed plot twist. It’s the storytelling. All the while playing with portals to reach ever more dubious goals, you’re working to satisfy your curiosity. Who are you? Why are you doing this? Who built all this? Valve invented a genre when they released Portal. Nothing like it had ever been done before.

Now we have games like Q.U.B.E., Five Nights at Freddies, Gone Home, and every walking simulator that treks into players' lives. Where would the industry be without Valve? Who knows, but I’m certainly grateful for Portal. The only real drawback of this adventure is that you’ll have many questions that can only be answered by its sequel, Portal 2.

My appreciation for Portal can be summed up in one of those rare moments you have with a stranger. You quote GLaDOS, and then you’re both spouting lines you’ve memorized for the next ten minutes because the game was just that much of a delight. Then you spend the next twenty gushing about how awesome it all was. There’s a reason this one’s a classic, folks, and it’s better experienced than explained.

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Community review by hastypixels (September 21, 2017) Wisdom comes from effort and mistakes.