Tony Hawk's Underground 2 (Xbox) review "Every now and then I forget this and foolishly revist the game, but in playing, I remember why I abandoned it. THUG2 is less about skating and more about a basic and ludicrous toilet humour that even rugby players wouldn't find amusing."

I own every last Hawks game made in one form or another aside from American Wasteland. Its omission will be made clear soon.

Each and every title sits on my shelf collecting dust. Like all yearly franchises, they retain value like Nintendo retains sanity, so getting rid of them seems pointless. THPS 1-4 and the first Underground collect dust because I've gutted them: every level completed in every way, multi-player victims abandoned as soon as I started thrashing them by million point deficits rather than by the skin of my teeth. I dominate, and now I don't play. There's no reason to.

Tony Hawks' Underground 2 collects dust because playing it makes me weep.... In a manly way, of course.

Every now and then I forget this and foolishly revist the game, but in playing, I remember why I abandoned it. THUG2 is less about skating and more about a basic and ludicrous toilet humour that even rugby players wouldn't find amusing.

FOR EXAMPLE!

While putting together a combo that would make Killer Instinct look like Britney's Dance Beat, my special bar fills up, allowing me to pull off a trademark stunt guaranteed to draw gasps, points and glory. Trained fingers input the simple button combination as I soar from a half-pipe, launching this crowd-pleaser into action -- will it grant me a 540 Backflip? A McTwist? A Stalefish Somersault?

No. Instead, my custom-built skater sticks out his arse, farts loudly, and lights the noxious fumes that exit noisily from his anus.

Other 'hilarious' tricks include grinds that see your skater launch a kite to help pull him along, don bullfighter gear and squashbuckle imaginary foes to the distant cry of "Olé!" or violently puke on the move. It's obvious that Neversoft decided to try and cash in on the Jackass craze that the world was suffering from at the time, so much so that Tony Hawks takes a backseat in his own game to Bam Margera. A talented skater in his own right who owes his fame and popularity to repeatedly beating up his tubby, bearded father.

Sure, I love watching rotund gentlemen get hurt, as I will now demonstrate....

Empleh16: *pokes in the eye with pointy stick*
almightyfatness: Ouch! ;_;
Empleh16: Hahahaha!

... but I'm sure that the blurb on the back of the game's box said something about skateboarding being the focus. Valued reader, the back of the box is a dirty stinkin' liar!!

When the skating does get underway, the simple pleasure that once existed is buried beneath a slew of counterproductive enhancements. Falling off your board is no longer the failure it used to be; simply pummel your pad's buttons to active the special 'RAGE' feature in which your skater throws an angsty hissy-fit and boots his 'board from the screen. This feature seems designed to try and cheapen the 'HORSE' multi-player game, as punting your ride earns you points, therefore making even a bail worthwhile if done properly. The second feature is 'FOCUS', which is basically Bullet-Time on a board. It's as bad as it sounds, yet the game forces you to use it to achieve some of the lamer set pieces. When you're not forced to use moronic additions that subtract from the experience, the other goals do their best to lame things up. THUG2 will make you:

Staff review by Gary Hartley (July 27, 2006) Gary Hartley arbitrarily arrives, leaves a review for a game no one has heard of, then retreats to his 17th century castle in rural England to feed whatever lives in the moat and complain about you.