Garten of Banban (PC) review "'M' is for 'mediocre'"

“How can anyone find something so innocent and colorful scary?”

Any time I have a discussion with people about the “cute things presented as creepy” sub-genre of horror, I inevitably run into this question, and it's a good one that requires some thought. Here's the thing with the category as a whole, though: nothing is inherently unnerving, and a concept's fright factor mainly boils down to how the effectively its creator handles the material.

In that respect, Garten of Banban at least starts off on the right foot. You begin the foray by entering a kindergarten after hours, hoping to locate your missing child. No, preschools, daycares, and kindergartens are not inherently terrifying. Sure, they're a tad worrisome because their clients are little walking Petri dishes, but they otherwise harbor few things that could mortify the pants off you. However, Banban's school is obviously off-kilter enough to unsettle you from the get-go. Bright colors stand juxtaposed with dark corners that somehow seem too dark or apparently bottomless drop-offs into voids. It shouldn't take a detective to figure out something is horribly amiss about this place, but you need to find your kid quickly—assuming they haven't already been consumed by the deadly forces at work here.

The game first hooks you up with a remotely controlled drone toy, which you will need to tediously press wall-mounted buttons throughout the brief campaign. From there, it introduces its central antagonist: a group of fuzzy and cute creatures that would be right at home on Sesame Street, except that something about them seems more ravenous than your average Muppet. Hell, one of them even says directly he needs your pancreas, in case you couldn't figure out that these critters absolutely mean harm.



And that's where the creepy part comes in. How can something so cute be so deadly? That's the point, my friend. Their perceived innocence, garish palettes, and cartoony expressions lull casual onlookers into a false sense of security, much like a certain serial killer who dressed as a harmless birthday party clown. However, beneath all the whimsy beats the hearts predators that are more than willing to devour your children, and maybe even you. How long have kids been playing around these things, completely unaware that their “friends” have been eyeing them like hungry wolves scoping out young, tender lambs?

Part of our fear of these innocent creatures comes from our recent distrust of various portions of our society, as we've seen plenty of horrid people pose as educators, caregivers, leaders, and sitters only to strike when our childrens' defenses are down. That's precisely what Banban and his sub-genre ilk plan to do...

I'm totally shooting from the hip with this explanation, but part of us could also be reacting to an evolutionary mechanism that tells us that not everything cute is playful. Bears constitute a good example, as they all look like massive beasts that are just waiting to be hugged. Sadly, reality doesn't align in such a way, as embracing a bear only leads to a quick, yet painful death.

I know I've prattled on about the use of theme and implication here as if Banban is some gem that you all need to check out, but the truth is the game doesn't venture far beyond establishing its creepy underbelly. The early campaign beats involve using the drone to press red buttons on the walls, as previously mentioned, all so you can acquire key cards. These items allow you to voyage farther into the darkest reaches of the school, eventually ending up in a defunct ball pit. Sadly, the balls have taken a vacation, leaving only a humongous hole of blackness.



This section hits you with the game's most difficult struggles, which are actually quite tame. You find a way across the pit, where you encounter a dull “match the colors” puzzle that gives you yet another key card. From there, one of Banban's friends decides to spoil your fun, and you must figure out how to deal with him. Credit where credit's due: the experience never holds your hand and tells you what to do. It leaves you to observe your surroundings and experiment a little bit, eventually figuring out how to traverse the killing hole once again and thwart the hungry (but admittedly adorable) animal that chases you.

After that point, you only have maybe three minutes worth of campaign left. No, seriously. Banban is apparently free online because it's merely a prologue for its sequel. This was an attempt to hook you in and get you to purchase the rest of the episodes, which aren't free. I would say I feel cheated, except I paid nothing to add this piece to my library and spent hardly any time getting through it. What really did I lose? Enough time to watch an episode of some show on a streaming service that would just put me to sleep anyway?

I know a lot of people present mediocrity as a lukewarm positive by saying, “At least it's not bad.” However, if Banban had offered a terrible experience, that would've been something worthy of remark, at least. Granted, I wouldn't have scored it very highly, but the score isn't what matters. This horror-adventure barely gets started in earnest, coming across more as a free, playable teaser for a line of premium-paid installments. For works like this, “mediocrity” is just another way of saying “insubstantial.” Honestly, it would have made more sense to sell the first two games as a single title, and release this as a free demo.

Thankfully, there are worse products out there that could suck up your time, but there are also far superior titles that are also freeware. Lily's Well and 7Days provide excellent examples. Maybe this one will influence you to pick up its successor, or maybe the abbreviated playtime will underwhelm you enough that you won't bother. Regardless, Banban may feature fantastic presentation that balances childish glee with implied terror, but its brevity undercuts any fear it conjures.

Staff review by Joseph Shaffer (October 06, 2023) Rumor has it that Joe is not actually a man, but a machine that likes video games, horror movies, and long walks on the beach. His/Its first contribution to HonestGamers was a review of Breath of Fire III.