Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? review (GEN) Reviewed on March 20, 2009 The biggest security blanket the cartel of ne’er-do-wells revel in is that, though it certainly fares better than most educational titles, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? is still a more graphic version of doing your homework, and not even the nerdiest of us enjoy that.
	Kingdom of Loathing review (PC) Reviewed on March 20, 2009 Picture the scene. You face off against a scourge of this valley in mortal combat. The Council has request you aid the baron of this place, and you are eager to please.
	Unsolved Crimes review (DS) Reviewed on March 18, 2009 This night seemed to beg for a horrific murder. The power had been knocked offline for a couple of hours, and the storm was still raging. Rain had blown inside through the broken window – the killer's alleged escape route – and drenched the victim's dress and shoes. They were the only solid remnants of the young woman left in the dingy motel room. Her naked corpse had already been taken away, or at least, the mutilated pieces of it. Scattered chalk markings showed where each of her limbs ha...
	Major League Baseball 2K9 review (X360) Reviewed on March 18, 2009 In short, your hopes are strung along at first by a satisfactory visual presentation, with the telecast handled by two well-known baseball buffoons. It feels reasonably similar to a day at the park.
	Legend of the Ghost Lion review (NES) Reviewed on March 18, 2009 Bread is the ONLY way to heal Maria, so you'll always want a good supply of it on hand. In fact, the entire game revolves around how much bread you possess, as your goal at any given time will be to run to a dungeon, find all the treasure and get out as quickly as possible. If you have enough bread, that will be easy. If not, you'll be at the mercy of the game's lackluster combat engine.
	Resident Evil 5 review (X360) Reviewed on March 17, 2009 Throughout the first chapter — while trying to escape an entire city that hated me, while hiding in dark corners and climbing walls to escape the bloodthirsty masses — Resident Evil 5 provided a heart-pounding, frightening, and thoroughly playable adventure with some disturbing real-world implications. I knew these people weren't evil, just sick... but I killed them anyway. I had to kill them to survive — they were bursting through ceilings, climbing through windows, hiding behind fences. By the end, I was shooting everyone on sight, and feeling pleasure. Heaven help me if there was an actual innocent soul wandering the streets.
	Ultima: Quest of the Avatar review (NES) Reviewed on March 17, 2009 RPGs have always been about trying to combine disparate genres into a seemingly endless cycle of nerdier and nerdier products. It started when a bunch of guys sat down, threw some board games and copies of Tolkien on a table, and ended up with Dungeons & Dragons, which resulted in some other guys sitting down, throwing D&D rules in with computer programming manuals and creating Wizardry. RPGs have been combined with every conceivable genre, from first-person shooters (The Elder Scrol...
	Jake Hunter: Detective Chronicles review (DS) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 Because of humorous mystery games like Phoenix Wright, you may have forgotten that murder is a serious business. Jake Hunter is here to remind you of the harsh reality. Under the name Jinguji Saburo, the private detective has been solving crimes in Japan for over twenty years. Rebranded for North America, Jake Hunter: Detective Chronicles revisits three of his earliest cases. Unfortunately, you'll be following his footsteps rather than stepping into his shoes. A lack of real i...
	MadWorld review (WII) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 There’s a man dying in front of you. Blood is pouring out of his torso like a fountain, and the gash across his gut is deep enough to suck. He’s staring at you with wide, agony-stricken eyes, screaming at you for help. There’s not a lot of time, so you have to act quickly. There are several ways to approach this, though. You could just let him die. But that’s not what your sponsor wants, what the fans expect, or the what the rules imply. Besides, it’s just… boring. So what will it be? A s...
	Blue Dragon Plus review (DS) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 Blue Dragon Plus is ultimately too well-designed an RTS to allow for the most basic strategies, but at the same time, it doesn’t offer the most complex, either. Simply grouping all of your units together and rushing mindlessly from one encounter to the next often won’t cut it, especially when the difficulty escalates in the latter half of the adventure. At the same time, attempting to formulate any advanced strategies, trying to really make the most of your available unis, will result in aggravation.
	Grand Ages: Rome review (PC) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 Grand Ages: Rome is made by the same developers and initially could be mistaken to be the same game as IR. The strict attention to detail is still prevalent, as is the fluid economy and employment system. The one big thing that GA introduces is more variation. With its predecessor, it was easy to apply the same strategy to every map – maps which were all too similar to one another. The obvious aim of its spiritual sequel is to mix things up a little. This is something that's prominent from first play-through.
	Fenimore Fillmore's Revenge review (PC) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 Missing the mark in everything it tries to achieve, Fenimore Fillmore's Revenge is a catastrophe of an adventure game. Thoughtlessly designed and amateurishly crafted, it quickly descends into a pile of pointless gibberish and unfinished ideas. Fortunately, it's so insignificant that it's not worth getting upset about. If you're stupid enough to play it, make sure you disconnect your speakers first.
	Wii Fit review (WII) Reviewed on March 15, 2009 It would seem that Nintendo's master plan has finally come full circle. After fattening up their user base over the last 20 years, they've finally released their own antidote: Wii Fit. I was given Wii Fit for Christmas in a not-so-subtle hint that I need to lose some weight. Thankfully, demand for Wii Fit is still high, so I was able to sell it recently and buy a real game instead.
	Resident Evil 5 review (PS3) Reviewed on March 14, 2009 Innovation doesn’t have to be good, right? That was what I first thought when I played Resident Evil 4. I was one of those few people who didn’t like the way that the game took the Resident Evil (Or Biohazard, if you prefer) series. Despite this attitude, I must admit that I enjoyed Resident Evil 4, perhaps not as a Resident Evil game, but as a shooter. When Resident Evil 5 was announced, I was one of those people who prayed, unrealistically, that it would return the series back to the old schoo...
	Gears of War 2 review (X360) Reviewed on March 14, 2009 It took me around a week to finish the original Gears of War, while I managed to complete the sequel in less than twenty-four hours. It’s not that I was in any rush to beat Gears of War 2 (I wasn’t) or that the sequel is at all shorter than its predecessor (if anything, it’s a little longer). The game is so intense, so utterly captivating from title screen to end credits, that I had no choice but to keep playing. Its hold on me was that strong.
	Killzone 2 review (PS3) Reviewed on March 14, 2009 Because the game rewards you for playing, you never feel that your time and efforts are being wasted. “So I got my ass handed to me and only made 10 kills in an hour," you might think. "Big deal. That’s still 10 kills closer to my next rank.” With that said, you'll never just have 10 kills in a match of Killzone 2. The game is designed for heavy casualties. It’s not uncommon to get over a hundred kills in a single match.
	Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 5: 8 Bit is Enough review (PC) Reviewed on March 14, 2009 All in all, it's a pretty great ride, but it's somewhat telling that even Strong Bad seems bored when you go to pick up the metal detector and shovel for the fifth time. There's plenty of more standard and less inventive ambling about which I admit has gotten a little old by the fifth game. The game is still short, and only flirting with the fringes of frustration by the end. Episode 5 is easily the best game in the series, but it's probably a good thing that they're taking a break after this one, at least for a little while.
	Tenchu: Shadow Assassins review (WII) Reviewed on March 13, 2009 Tenchu: Shadow Assassins may very well be the return of developers Acquire to the franchise, but this Wii title falls flat on its poorly conceived digital face. It’s little more than an antiquated stealth game with tacked-on motion controls.
	The Path review (PC) Reviewed on March 12, 2009 As a concept, The Path is a brave attempt at something more poignant within the medium. As a game, it's a collection of excellent yet slightly incomplete ideas. As a talking point, it provides more ground for intelligent game-related discussion than anything else is likely to encourage this year. So let's talk about it. And let's keep making more games like this.
	Supreme Ruler 2020 review (PC) Reviewed on March 12, 2009 Supreme Ruler: 2020 is exactly what I adore: a strat title nearly unapproachable due to its level of depth, but promising months upon months of diverse enjoyment. I do so love a challenge.

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