Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Penumbra: Requiem review (PC) Reviewed on March 11, 2009 After Black Plague so masterfully refined the Penumbra format, it seems like such a waste to throw it all away in favour of a poorly contextualised and badly designed puzzle game. Requiem resolutely fails in every aspect that made its predecessors so remarkable. The game that was never meant to be made should have stayed that way.
	Penumbra: Black Plague review (PC) Reviewed on March 11, 2009 Everything's received an overhaul. Black Plague looks better, sounds better, plays better and reads better than its predecessor. It's still slightly rough around the edges, as is inevitible for a game built on such a tight budget by such a small team of developers. But it's less clumsy, more restrained, and more effective than before.
	Spot Goes to Hollywood review (SAT) Reviewed on March 10, 2009 Cool Spot was a game I never played that much, especially back when it was released for the Sega Genesis. However, despite that, it still managed to leave a lasting impression on me. Whenever I think of the game, one of the first things I automatically remember is the opening, where Spot, a red dot with shades, the 7 UP mascot, jumps in and out of the SEGA logo, which is shortly followed by Spot pushing the giant Virgin Interactive logo on screen, all by himself. Then, finally, the title screen ...
	Soldier of Fortune: Payback review (X360) Reviewed on March 09, 2009 Soldier of Fortune's protagonist is a bloodthirsty killer who has no intention of ever retiring from battle. He just wants to pop heads and rend limbs with grenade launchers and assault rifles (most of which are picked up off the ground, since it's nearly impossible to find ammo for your own weapons). This game has acquired a violent reputation, and deservedly so... but much of the gore is obscured by muted backdrops.
	Castlevania: Dracula X review (SNES) Reviewed on March 09, 2009 I don’t make any pretensions to be a hardcore gamer, but I really love the Castlevania series. It doesn’t hold any nostalgic value for me as I was a relative latecomer to the series. I dabbled in the NES entries for a bit, but I didn’t fall in love until playing Symphony of the Night. It was from here that I started to seek out other games in the series, which led to my playing Castlevania: Dracula X for the Super Nintendo. It remains one of the most enjoyable 2D action games I have ever played...
	Liquid War review (PC) Reviewed on March 07, 2009 Let me take you back to my first year of college at the University of Puget Sound, Tacoma, Washington (I know you’d probably rather not be taken to Tacoma, but bear with me). The year was 2002. Life was simpler back then. You didn’t have to own three home consoles and two hand-held systems to round out your gaming experience. Xbox users didn’t have to worry about their machines spontaneously combusting. Roommates didn’t have to keep glass valuables out of Wii-range. Half Life 2 hadn’t even...
	Rise of the Argonauts review (PS3) Reviewed on March 06, 2009 Review: Rise of the Argonauts
	Mount & Blade review (PC) Reviewed on March 06, 2009 Really, it's just a matter of what you want. Anyone with the right mindset and a pinch of imagination can get swept away in the world of Mount and Blade, and create something that is unique and epic to them. That one aspect, in spite of any of its faults, kept me playing for hours. If you like having your hand held, and being given direction and taken through a story, then the game's not for you.
	Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber review (PC) Reviewed on March 05, 2009 The moral of Water Closet must be: even if it seems repulsive at first, pissing and pooping in public is fun. Personally, I prefer to be regarded with reverence and admiration instead of shame and repulsion. That probably means I'm not in the game's target audience. Would you care to play?
	Clive Barker's Undying review (MAC) Reviewed on March 05, 2009 Patrick Galloway traverses the silent corridors of an ancient manor. His long hair sticks to his face with sweat, and he absently brushes it away with the barrel of his magnum revolver. His other hand clutches a stone that glows softly with un-revealed power, dimly lighting the otherwise dark hallway. Somewhere in the distance, eerie laughter can just be heard over the heavy sound of rainfall. Patrick shakes his head as if to clear it. He’s here to help his friend, Jeremiah Covenant, explai...
	Ceville review (PC) Reviewed on March 05, 2009 Despite its good intentions, Ceville is so mediocre that I'm struggling to know what to say about it. It's easy to enthuse about brilliance in games, or relentlessly rant about awful bits. Ceville has no significant examples of either. Despite its good intentions, it's unremarkable; despite its problems, it's rather playable. It sits firmly in the middle of the gaming spectrum, a title that's likely to annoy few but resonate with fewer.
	F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin review (X360) Reviewed on March 05, 2009 Refined, often impressive, yet ultimately empty, there's simply none of Monolith's renowned creativity on display here. Producing a more polished version of your four-year-old near-masterpiece doesn't quite cut it, in a world where the genre is rapidly maturing and evolving into a new beast altogether.
	Secret Wives' Club review (PC) Reviewed on March 05, 2009 Now instead of simply clicking through a bunch of text and making the occasional decision, you're asked to make choices from a menu. The three women you hope to "educate" are each assigned columns. Your goal is to please all three of the horny vixens. Each has numerous scenes from which to choose, all divided into categories for your convenience. Mostly, these relate to the state of the relationship and predict how things are about to go so that you can decide where to budget your time.
	TrackMania DS review (DS) Reviewed on March 05, 2009 The DS version doesn’t do a very good job at selling itself. More on that later, though, because while at first I suspected that Trackmania was going to be collecting dust on my shelf alongside Trace Memory and Lost in Blue, I have found myself playing it every night without fail.
	Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon review (DS) Reviewed on March 04, 2009 Spend a few hours with any Fire Emblem game and you’ll see why the series is revered in the world of turn-based strategy games: Its emphasis on the immediate and long-term effects of death is brilliant. The knowledge that each downed soldier is down for good makes you more considerate of individual lives. Being more considerate, in turn, makes you more cautious, less reckless. You come out of a Fire Emblem game a better player than you were when you entered.
	Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence review (PS2) Reviewed on March 04, 2009 It has been nearly five years since the release of Metal Gear Solid 3, and in that time I can think of no game I’ve enjoyed more. The gameplay and narrative of MGS3 is far above those of the previous games, though I don’t mean them disrespect in anyway. MGS3 was simply the culmination of the strongest elements of the previous two games, while adding its own powerful flavor to the mix. MGS3 contains so much variety, so much depth, and so many possibilities that even well after 20 playthroughs I h...
	Retro Game Challenge review (DS) Reviewed on March 03, 2009 Nostalgia is a powerful thing. It strikes when you least suspect it, in that one, awe-inspiring moment in which you realize what you’ve forgotten. What you’ve left behind. Sure, you might be immersed in some hundred-hour RPG, or slaughtering random baddies with your huge arsenal of high-tech weapons. You enjoy what the current generation of games can offer you. There’s nothing wrong with that; gaming has come a long way in the last twenty years. If you’re old enough, you can appreciate such adva...
	Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers review (WII) Reviewed on March 03, 2009 Slaying is such a guilty pleasure. Really, it is. You might deny it, claim that you derive pleasure from something more intellectually stimulating. Something nicer. But once you’ve gotten a taste, it’s hard to stop. It’s beautiful, mesmerizing in its own disturbing way; the blood doesn’t just seep out, but gushes forth in a glorious fountain of gore. The dismembered limbs don’t just fall away, but go flying across the room and leave splattered trails in their wakes. The heads are especial...
	Hello Kitty's Cube Frenzy review (PSX) Reviewed on March 03, 2009 HELLO KITTY
	Resident Evil: Code Veronica X review (PS2) Reviewed on March 02, 2009 When it comes to Resident Evil, I openly admit to being a fanboy. I buy the comics, the toys, the skins and any other gimmick I can find; most of it in anticipation for Resident Evil 5. I’m so eager, in fact, that I was willing to play Code Veronica based solely on a rumor that it contained a very short—albeit significant—plot revelation for the upcoming RE 5.

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