Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories review (PS2) Reviewed on December 24, 2008 A departure from the hit-the-x-button gameplay of the rest of the series, this system is lauded as either brilliantly strategic or pathetically broken. I myself call it strategically pathetic, but I like it nonetheless.
	Indigo Prophecy review (PS2) Reviewed on December 23, 2008 It’s around here that Marcus stops worrying about his mental health and starts trying to be middle America’s answer to Chow Yun Fat on a tabletop-sized slab of LSD. It’s about here you may want to start thinking about employing your console’s off switch.
	Dynowarz: The Destruction of Spondylus review (NES) Reviewed on December 23, 2008 And after seven sequences of this, it all abruptly ends. No more muted, garish colors. No more laughable showdowns. No more trying to hit a miniature velociraptor with a stupid arcing bomb because the power-up literally blocked your path on the opposite side of a gorge, forcing you to die or collect it.
	Lot Lot review (NES) Reviewed on December 23, 2008 If this sounds a bit more like a drawn-out chore than an actual puzzle, it is. You’re merely switching contents around and waiting for membranes to give way as you keep one square completely cleared to avoid losing. Keep swinging contents further from the bottom left toward the top right, or toward gaps that lead to scoring channels and rid the problem with immediacy. Worse, this is all done at an agonizingly slow pace. Like most any puzzle game, lather-rinse-repeat applies.
	Guitar Hero: On Tour - Decades review (DS) Reviewed on December 21, 2008 Organization stands out as the major selling point of Guitar Hero: On Tour - Decades. Traditionally, games from this successful rhythm franchise grouped songs only by difficultly. Weezer would sit right next to Blondie; the Foo Fighters back to back with Boston. Here music is arranged by time period, so you'll find one steaming pile of Fall Out Boy, The All-American Rejects and Paramore rather than stumbling upon them throughout the ga...
	From the Abyss review (DS) Reviewed on December 20, 2008 It’s a worthless way to live. Everyone will tell you otherwise, of course. They’ll say that you’re valiantly defending your homeland. That you’re saving countless innocents for your daily sacrifices. They promise to pay you handsomely for your efforts. But it’s all a sham, a pathetic ploy that appeals to only those foolish enough to believe they’re actually heroes. These warriors put their lives on the line, all in the name of the country of Rubenhaut. But in the end, none of their brave efforts...
	The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion review (PC) Reviewed on December 19, 2008 This is the thing with Oblivion. Just as you manage to suspend disbelief and let the high-fantasy tide wash over you, something completely moronic happens and you're thrown rather aggressively back to the dismal reality of sitting in front of a screen, playing an embarrassingly geeky computer game. I'm never usually one to moan about glitches all that much, but when they regularly remove you from the whole experience, it's difficult not to let it hamper your fun.
	Shadow Hearts review (PS2) Reviewed on December 18, 2008 There's a lot of complaints about role playing games nowadays. People say they are nothing more than glorified books, with stale battle systems (I got to push X again? Sigh.), boring storylines (save the damsel in distress or save the world from an evil madman in some ancient fantasy land!), and redundant fetch quests. And they'd be right. As big of a RPG fan as I am, I can admit to the flaws of the genre, and I wished a game would come along and break all the stereotypes and blow me away.
	Everyday Shooter review (PS3) Reviewed on December 17, 2008 I don’t care what you’re doing, it’s instantly way cooler when things are exploding and someone’s riffing on a guitar behind it. That you’re the cause of these explosions and riffs makes Everyday Shooter not only amazingly cool, but also extremely addictive.
	Europa Universalis III Complete review (PC) Reviewed on December 17, 2008 Approximately a year ago, Jason Venter reviewed the vanilla version of Europa Universalis III for this very site. Jason articulately chronicled his rise to power as Calais in the fifteenth century, writing of how rebels would easily seize territory and he would hastily be defeated. Mr.Venter discovered, very quickly, the importance of being a competent leader. The people do not respond well to being constantly drafted into the forces, nor do they appreciate needlessly high taxes. If you are a fair ruler and concentrate on appeasing the masses (along with your neighbours) then the game makes for a very pleasant experience.
	March! Offworld Recon review (PC) Reviewed on December 16, 2008 If March-exclamation-mark-Offworld Recon had simply flashed up a load of static images of killer robots and huge chain-guns, layered on top of its preposterous midi-techno soundtrack, I'd have had a hell of a lot more fun. This is a first-person shooter with about as much personality and intrigue as a beige wall. There's far less context to it all than the original Doom. It manages to spectacularly predate a fifteen-year-old game in every conceivable way apart from when it was released.
	Chrono Trigger review (DS) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 The best addition to the game proves to be the use of the DS to redesign the menus and controls, and the dual screen functionality which makes viewing the menus a breeze. It might not be much more than a fresh look at the classic, but then fans weren’t really looking for a reinvention.
	Bleach: Shattered Blade review (WII) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 Almost every character in Bleach carries a sword, which opens up Shattered Blade to a swashbuckling Wii control scheme. Of course, this one-on-one fighting game doesn't tell you what those swords, those zanpakuto, mean; they're the manifestation of spiritual power. It doesn't explain how Ichigo Kurosaki, a roughnecked teen, came to carry one, or how he suddenly found himself traveling between the human and spirit worlds as a substitute Soul Reaper, defending his friends a...
	Nancy Drew Dossier: Lights, Camera, Curses! review (PC) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 Despite my worst fears, Nancy Drew has not undergone a lobotomy. Lights, Camera, Curses! is the premier of the Nancy Drew Dossier series, designed specifically for detectives crunched for time. But even though it requires less brain power to solve, Curses still shows the super sleuth at her resourceful best.
	Ninjatown review (DS) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 Ninja Gaiden? Ninja Raiden? Forget those, this is an entire game about a town of ninjas. Ninjatown takes two things they most probably hadn’t ever expected to see together: cute animated ninjas based on a plush toy line, and the classic idea of a tower defense scenario. If you’re expecting to boot up the game and find bad dialogue and easy levels however, you’d better scoot on back down to your local game store and turn in this game for Resident Evil. Do not let Ninjatown’s cute, pastel flooded ...
	Hot Pinball review (ARC) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 The theme of each board? Health class diagrams of the female reproductive system!
	Football Director DS review (DS) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 Football Director DS is a promising youth team player. The foundations for a worthwhile asset are there for all to see; it simply needs to be carefully cultivated in the future to reach full potential.
	Spider-Man: Web of Shadows review (X360) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 So to conclude that Web of Shadows was loaded with potential would be quite the understatement. Ultimately, the game fails miserably to live up to that potential, sort of like Penny Hardaway. And why is that? Because Web of Shadows drags. Oh how it drags.
	S4 League review (PC) Reviewed on December 15, 2008 S4 League (which stands for Stylish eSper Shooting Sports), while although hailing from Korea, is probably one of the easiest games to get into and has a surprising amount of depth compared to most other free MMO games. The game was recently released in Europe and is identical to the Korean version aside from a few features like the Fumbi Shop, the Cash Shop, and a couple of weapons, skills, and maps that have yet to be added but that are being included in periodic updates.
	Kaboom! review (A2600) Reviewed on December 14, 2008 Notorious serial bomber Baron von Blitzkrieg is astir once more, perched against an entirely gray background atop a solid olive green wall, awaiting his cue to strike. Still adorned in the black-and-white striped jailbird outfit he broke out of the big house in – the ensemble accessorized by the black mask with cutout eyeholes stretched across the width of his face – the criminal mastermind holds his soon to be unleashed explosive in the palms of his hands, a scowl perpetually across his face, only fleeting for the few brief seconds when victory is his. The crew-cut culprit stands motionless, emotionless, daring us to dare him.

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