Review Archives (All Reviews)
You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Growl review (GEN)Reviewed on August 14, 2007It’s just another day at the office at the Ranger Corps. You and three of your Indiana Jones-wannabe coworkers are sitting back at the bar, enjoying some good beer and watching the Congo sun slowly descend into the horizon. Somewhere in the middle of this alcoholic fog, a young woman enters the room. She’s tall, blonde, and wearing one of the most crudely drawn suit and skirt sprites you’ve ever seen. But as you can take in her lovely curves and legs that stretch on forever, she utters a scratch... |
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Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology review (PSP)Reviewed on August 13, 2007Sometimes you're retrieving an item. Others you're rescuing someone who got lost, or delivering a goody he or she needs, or scavenging for materials at an item point. No matter how you look at it, though, you're no more than an errand boy (or girl) engaged in one long series of fetch quests. |
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Prince of Persia: Revelations review (PSP)Reviewed on August 13, 2007Even though the game sometimes looks like a bad Kung Fu film (audio clips for scripted events aren't properly synched), out-of-control glitches are NOT what make Revelations an irritating experience. The atrocious framerate, inopportune loading, and horrible controls accomplish that on their own. |
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WarTech: Senko no Ronde review (X360)Reviewed on August 12, 2007Now, judging by what you've just read above, what genre did you think WarTech was in? Shoot-em-up? Fighting? Well, if you guessed one of the first two, you're right. |
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Legend of the Dragon review (PSP)Reviewed on August 12, 2007Legend of the Dragon is a forgettable fighting game based on a forgettable cartoon. I could tell you all about the first time I played Fatal Fury Special or my memories of Melty Blood, but in a few months all I'll remember about this one is that I hated it. That's what happens when a company cares more about graphics than about designing a good game. |
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Banjo Pilot review (GBA)Reviewed on August 12, 2007"Hey, you know, that Banjo game with the bear and the bird did pretty good on the N64." |
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Dizzy the Adventurer review (NES)Reviewed on August 12, 2007Meet Dizzy. Dizzy is an egg. Dizzy comes from Yolkfolk village. Dizzy has an egg girlfriend (hot, I know) named Daisy. On one eggcelent day (I'm sorry, really I am), they discovered a secret entrance to the evil wizard Zak's castle. Little did they know, Zak himself was watching them through his crystal ball! He set a trap for them in the form of a horrible, awful, terrifying, spinning wheel (DUN DUN DUUUN!). It mysteriously spun infinitely due the magic spell placed on it by the wizard. ... |
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Kuri Kinton review (ARC)Reviewed on August 12, 2007He can see it now. It looks like a tiny, rusted shack, but it’s actually the entrance to one of the most extensive underground fortresses in the world. You’d think that criminal masterminds would come up with a less obvious entryway (because we all know that little shacks in the middle of the desert are so commonplace), but none of that matters now. Kuri Kinton zooms forth on his oversized motorcycle, leaps over a rocky embankment, and charges toward his fate. About halfway there, he rele... |
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Bank Panic review (ARC)Reviewed on August 12, 2007I love the old West. You know why? Because everyone just shot everyone else all the time. Okay, so maybe actually being in the time period wouldn't be the best thing, as I'm not a big fan of being shot. Shooting other people though, is a different story. Bank Panic allows me to shoot all the outlaws I want as they pop into the bank and try to grab some cash. I sit down and wait for the action to unfold, then I must shoot at the right time at the right person. I can see three of the twelve... |
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Rule of Rose review (PS2)Reviewed on August 11, 2007"But with big sister dead in a pool of amber blood, who is there to read the letter to? Bah bah." |
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Tetris DX review (GBC)Reviewed on August 10, 2007You know what Tetris is. Yes, you. I'm talking directly to you, reader, the one on the other side of the computer screen. I can say this with certainty because if you're on this website, reading this review right now, the chances of you not having played one of the millions of Tetris spawn are treading on nothing. In the very least, I'm sure you've seen Human Tetris (and if you haven't check it out because it's hilarious). Anyway, bec... |
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Taito Legends: Power-Up review (PSP)Reviewed on August 10, 2007Most arcade compilations from even the best of companies will include a few obvious misses. Taito was never the best of companies, but it was solid and enjoyed its fair share of classics. Taito Legends: Power-Ups combines games from two different classics compilations, leaves out quite a few good ones, and mostly makes it clear that someone figures there will be a sequel. |
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Perfect Bowling review (NES)Reviewed on August 10, 2007It's quite a bold statement to say something is perfect. This is obviously because there are few things on this planet that we can say honestly have no flaws. One of these things, of course, would be a fresh roasted s'more. Another might be Maria Sharapova's body. One thing that we can definitely rule out as perfect though, is Perfect Bowling on the NES. The title isn't so much a bold statement as a dirty lie. This game isn't even worth the title Good Bowling or Mediocre Bowling... |
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Simple 2000 vol. 101: The Oneechanpon review (PS2)Reviewed on August 10, 2007In this sequel to the popular Oneechanpuruu, you assume the role of a hot Japanese babe in a bikini who carves up the walking dead with her bloodthirsty katana. Besides providing a little insight into the Oneechanbara series’ selling power, this may lead you to conclude that The Oneechanpon features more of the same. You’d be pretty much dead on, too – except that virtually every facet of the original has been improved upon. |
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Tetris DS review (DS)Reviewed on August 09, 2007I've said before that Tetris is one of the few games that will never, EVER get old. I stand by that statement, and no matter how many times countless developers will try to reinvent it to make more money, the basic, primitive game of Tetris is probably all we'll need. |
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Iridion 3D review (GBA)Reviewed on August 08, 2007When Iridion 3D was released as part of the Game Boy Advance launch lineup in 2001, it was almost without question the greatest technical marvel the system had. The jump from GBC to GBA was such a great one that most developers didn’t know how to utilize it, yet this little space shooter, as boring and uninspired as it was, managed to pump out an amazing 3D engine unlike anything I’d ever seen on a handheld. It was the kind of game you’d buy alongside your system with the sole intention o... |
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The Amazing Maze Game review (ARC)Reviewed on August 08, 2007Let me start off by asking a simple question. Do you enjoy stabbing yourself in the eyes with pointy things? If you answered "No" to the above question, there's a great chance that the pain suffered in this game will not appeal to you. If you said "Yes", well then boy have I found a game for you: horrible eye pain, and no sharp objects required! See, the game is a plain, black backdrop with a tiny white maze in front. There is two entrances/exits in the maze: one for you and one for the computer... |
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Barbie Game Girl review (GB)Reviewed on August 08, 2007Firstly a disclaimer is warranted. Barbie Game Girl is not, strictly speaking, a game. See, the word "game" generally brings connotations of something which is fun and which you play, and with Barbie Game Girl you do neither. There is nothing fun about this and the playing experience is non-existent. Instead you sit around bashing the buttons in a desperate bid to get Barbie to JUST FUCKING STEER, with your mood becoming increasingly dark and irritable. Eventually, rainclouds form ... |
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The Muppets: On with the Show! review (GBA)Reviewed on August 08, 2007Dear reader, please allow me a moment of misty-eyed recollection. Let me remember the times I spent as a young child - blonde-haired, blue-eyed, grinning broadly, full of life and hope for a bright future, untainted by the rigours of corporate society as we know it today - watching my favourite programmes on television on a weekend evening. Such happy memories - Dukes of Hazzard, Grandstand with Des Lynam, and my favorite programme of all - The Muppet Show. Those brightly coloured bundles of sla... |
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Gurumin: A Monstrous Adventure review (PSP)Reviewed on August 07, 2007Welcome to Tiese. |
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