Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Dragon Knight III review (TGCD) Reviewed on August 02, 2007 As a professional video game expert, it’s my job – no, my duty – to tell you all about the awesome obscure imports that you’ll never get to play because you suck. But I’m also a lazy bastard, so I decided to pull this disc out of the mighty Turbo collection instead.
	Twin Eagle review (NES) Reviewed on August 02, 2007 In the early 1980s, the home console industry would fall apart (especially fueled by the bombing of Atari's E.T.), creating a lull in the gaming niche. This would pave the way for a re-emerging arcade dominance, especially as at the time they were much more powerful than what you would get out of a more convenient stay-at-home play. Oldies like Donkey Kong and Galaga looked much better on arcade than their 2600 counterparts, and without a console's constant specs to weigh them down...
	Mario Party review (N64) Reviewed on August 02, 2007 Mini games are generally designed to be a distraction from the main game - a fun little addition to keep you busy if you get bored with the big picture. Other times mini games are cleverly squeezed into the main game as a way to beat enemies, get through some maze, or find an item. But Mario Party is unique in the way it implements its mini games: as the main part of its gameplay.
	Drakengard review (PS2) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 That's the real problem with Drakengard: it's annoying. Killing stuff just isn't fun. If it were, I'd be able to gloss over such faults and thrive in the moment. Alas, a poor camera (you cannot manually control the view) and a lack of impact (weapon blows feel like they're striking sacks of wheat, not people) further hamper the action.
	The Guardian Legend review (NES) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 Optomon doesn’t initially seem so imposing. This circular, one-eyed mass of vegetation does little but float from one side of the screen to the other while emitting bullets and unpredictable, but slow-moving, lasers. But, while pummeling the monster with everything she has, the Guardian brushes one of those lasers and watches her life bar get decimated. Suddenly, this fight has become a lot more tense as she realizes even the smallest mistake could be her last. And take my word on it — it’s easy to get so focused on dodging lasers that this critter’s weak bullets are what deals the killing blow....
	Within A Deep Forest review (PC) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 If you are just one person, and you want to make a game, what should you focus on? Maybe the first thing is to get the ball rolling with a hero.
	Doom review (PC) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 Doom took the world by storm. You know the drill: all nine levels of opening episode Knee Deep in the Dead were released as a free demo, with network play included to boot. Videogame inspired homicides then soared almost as much as office productivity plummeted. And already I'm sure you've braced yourself for yet another tedious history lesson, the usual story about how we never would have had Halo or any of those other newfangled games without good 'ol iD Software laying down the foundations fo...
	Contact review (DS) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 Here’s what Contact’s box guarantees you won’t find in the game: A dull moment; normalcy; a guy with “spikey” hair and/or amnesia; dramatic monologues; the same battles you’ve been fighting since the 16-bit era.
	Pariah review (XBX) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 Pariah is a bad first-person shooter that no one should be forced to play. It starts out boring and only manages to get mindless, repetitive, dull, and tedious. Between complex controls, an unexplained story, flat characters, poor graphics, a sloppy frame-rate, buggy sounds, and boring gameplay there is no enjoyment found in this tepid and monotonous adventure. It manages to hit every shooter cliché and never creates any uniqueness or memorable moments. By the time you end the second level or fi...
	Silver Surfer review (NES) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 The first thing you’ll notice about Silver Surfer is how awesome the music is. Most of my experience with this game has been on the pause screen in the first level listening to the soundtrack. This game embraces the NES’ limited sound capabilities; it’s like a techno chiptune remix before techno chiptune remixes existed. The drum samples are the most authentic you’ll hear on the NES. The melodies are catchy as all hell. These tunes are among the best on the system. Seriously. Obtain a copy of th...
	Dungeon Maker: Hunting Ground review (PSP) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 I was given free reign to make my dungeon look any way I wanted. Even when I had to put the game down, I was planning my next floor. “Do I want long corridors towards several rooms," I would find myself asking with every floor "or do I want curved, turning hallways to spiral out from the starting point?”
	The Final Fantasy Legend review (GB) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 I’ll give it credit for one thing: this game’s release was a radical departure from all the other RPGs of its day.
	Barney's Hide and Seek review (GEN) Reviewed on July 31, 2007 Barney is enough to convince most people that dinosaurs went extinct for a very good reason. This pacifistic mass of purple and green foam was invented solely to entertain developing children not yet sophisticated enough to speak or eat with a closed mouth. We were all once like that, but even now I can recall never being inclined towards this goofy-voiced Tyrannosaurus Rex bursting with love, even at an age when one isn't expected to have discriminating tastes. My Kindergarten classmates...
	Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix review (WII) Reviewed on July 31, 2007 EA have produced all of the Harry Potter movie tie-in videogames to date. In the same space of time in which J. K. Rowling gave us seven novels using one trusted old technology – that of the printed word – EA gave us five videogames spanning three generations of increasingly powerful gaming consoles. And they've still managed to make the same darn game on at least three of those occasions, or so mutters my inner cynic. Yet this doesn't really matter. The EA Potter games are remarkably consistent...
	Clock Tower review (SNES) Reviewed on July 31, 2007 Considerably more obscure than its PlayStation sequel, the original Clock Tower nevertheless enjoys a cult following today thanks to an unofficial English translation. And why shouldn’t it? You’ll explore a roomy old house, engage in a healthy bit of kleptomania, and struggle to escape the blades of a misshapen serial killer.
	Brave Story: New Traveler review (PSP) Reviewed on July 30, 2007 Brave Story is the type of game that takes the core things that make up its genre, and then does them very well without adding a lot of fluff. It has no qualms about telling you bluntly that it is a symbolic plunge into your own imagination.
	Voyage: Inspired by Jules Verne review (PC) Reviewed on July 30, 2007 The game adaptation draws inspiration from the book, but, ultimately, gives you the adventure that Verne's three explorers could only dream about as their shell floated past their target.
	Tombs & Treasure review (NES) Reviewed on July 29, 2007 At first glance Tombs & Treasure might resemble a 1st person dungeon crawl, but it actually plays more like a dumbed-down Shadowgate with a helping of faux-RPG elements tossed in for good measure.
	Maniac Mansion (Famicom) review (NES) Reviewed on July 28, 2007 Every fan of awesome graphic adventures knows that Maniac Mansion is one of the all-time classics of the genre and that it can’t possibly get any weirder than it already is. However only one of these statements is actually true!
	The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past review (SNES) Reviewed on July 28, 2007 Forget the rain, forget trying to determine if Link is a stumpy elf or a cross-eyed, inbred troll, forget the much-argued cosmetics. Just... let them go. Focus on Link to the Past as it is; a mediocre game.

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