Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Skies of Arcadia Legends review (GCN) Reviewed on June 17, 2005 I should have hated Skies of Arcadia.
	Red Faction II review (PC) Reviewed on June 16, 2005 Red Faction came along a while back and promised to change gaming forever. Usually, when a developer promises this, they fail. Red Faction didn’t exactly fail, but the highly touted Geo-Mod feature which was included in the game that allowed you to destroy any part of the environment was sadly underutilized and most of the time pointless. Turns out, putting a big hole in the wall is just a big waste of time and ammunition when there’s an unlocked door that leads to the same point. ...
	FIST review (SAT) Reviewed on June 16, 2005 With such a lackluster assortment of characters, the only solution is to compound the problem with one of the worst assortments of special moves ever envisioned. You know you're in trouble when one of the special moves is literally called Punch! Punch! Punch! and is performed by pressing the punch button three times in a row.
	Come See Me Tonight 2 review (PC) Reviewed on June 16, 2005 Suddenly, all you care to do is skip through the text and sleep with the girl of your choice. Text, text, text, sex, text, text, text, text, sex. Eventually, the pattern gets so tedious that you’re tempted to cycle through everything. Yes, that includes the sex. When a hentai game has you weary enough that you don’t even find yourself interested in the bountiful bosoms, you know something’s wrong.
	Streets of Rage review (GEN) Reviewed on June 15, 2005 Back when I was a youngster, I looked forward to the one week of the year my rural community held its county fair for one reason and one reason only. For those seven or so days, I lived only a couple of miles from a working Final Fight arcade machine.
	Tsumi to Batsu: Hoshi no Keishousha review (N64) Reviewed on June 14, 2005 Sin & Punishment was going to be a defining moment for the Nintendo 64... too bad there was nobody left to care. Released exclusively in Japan at a time when most gamers had already moved onto greener pastures, mainstream success seemed to be an all but impossible dream for this, the little shooter that should have.
	Tales of Destiny II review (PSX) Reviewed on June 14, 2005 Tales of Destiny II is a bit of a misleading title, as the game really has nothing to do with the original title that was released a few years prior to this one. You see, Namco got the brilliant idea to rename their Japanese title "Tales of Eternia" into a more noticable title to attract sales and attention from stubborn Americans. It didn't work, as the game didn't sell too many copies, and it just led to confusion, especially when the real Tales of Destiny 2, an actual sequel to the original, ...
	Tales of Destiny review (PSX) Reviewed on June 14, 2005 When going through a list of role playing games for the Playstation I had to play through a year ago (not really had to play, per se, more or less wanting to play them), one game struck my eye as being one I really wanted to play. That game? None other than Tales of Destiny. Made by Namco as the sequel to the classic Tales of Phantasia for the Super Famicom, Tales of Destiny, while being underrated in my book, is not really as great as some of its fans claim. Sure, most of the elements of the ga...
	Spider-Man 2 review (PS2) Reviewed on June 14, 2005 Superhero games have this weird habit of sucking.
	Quackshot Starring Donald Duck review (GEN) Reviewed on June 14, 2005 There was a time when any new Disney platformer was a safe bet; you could lay down your cash money and be pretty sure the game you were buying was at least gonna be decent, if not awesome. Disney had a particularly sweet run of games on the Genesis with Castle of Illusion, Fantasia, Legend of Illusion, and finally Quackshot (Donald's only starring role of the era and the best of the bunch in my opinion). That time has obviously passed since Disney games fucking suck now, but Quackshot is a tes...
	Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver review (PSX) Reviewed on June 14, 2005 Raziel died. But he's much better now!
	Atari R.B.I. Baseball review (ARC) Reviewed on June 12, 2005 Any seasoned gamer worth his salt knows the essence of R.B.I. Baseball for the NES. It's one of the greatest yet simplest sports games ever made, maintaining a following even decades after its release. Much of this popularity came from the inclusion of real MLB players and teams of the time. The rest came from how easy the game is to play and master. It doesn't take much work to learn how to dominate batters like a 14 year old amongst little leaguers or bomb round-trippers with the ...
	Yoshi's Cookie review (NES) Reviewed on June 12, 2005 I'm still waiting for Nintendo Puzzle Collection to be released in the US, although that's looking rather unlikely. I like Tetris clones, and the thought of three of them at once seemed cool. Dr Mario will be instantly recognized among Nintendo fans, being the most famous Tetris Clone since, well, Tetris. Panel de Pon may confuse some, but perhaps you might know of its US releases as the Yoshi-themed Tetris Attack on the SNES or Pokemon Puzzle League/Challenge on N64 and GBC, respectively. Thos...
	Yoshi review (NES) Reviewed on June 12, 2005 I like Tetris clones. There’s just something about pouring all of your concentration into getting your colored pieces of something or other into just the right place in time, trying not to panic as you fix your mistakes, and smiling at your high score that makes them fun. I just like it when they’re done right. Incidentally, my favorite one (Tetris Attack) features Yoshi, so I wondered if this one would turn out nice and peachy as well. It turns out the answer is no. There are some good ideas he...
	F-15 City Wars review (NES) Reviewed on June 12, 2005 I got new socks today! They're all nice and bright white and so warm and comfy and everything. See, my old socks were getting a bit worn, so I had to get new ones. Isn't that neat? No? So why am I telling you all this? I suppose I could relate my experiences with F-15 City Wars, a rather obscure NES game I played, instead. But in all honesty, I found the socks to be more exciting.
	Castlevania: Bloodlines review (GEN) Reviewed on June 11, 2005 Castlevania: Bloodlines, the Genesis’ lone foray into the CV realm, suffered the misfortune of being released during the same era of gaming as effect-laden Super Castlevania IV and mythical Rondo of Blood. Reluctantly playing the hapless third sister of the two aforementioned legends, Bloodlines pulls off a marvelous Cinderella story, giving Genesis owners a CV saga that can proudly stand alongside its majestic siblings.
	Time Crisis II review (ARC) Reviewed on June 11, 2005 They try to tell us in school that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them. After my stint hanging out with the LSD-heads, sometimes stooping so low as to snort the gas from a Reddy Whip aerosol can, I can now confidently attest that what they told you in school actually was rooted in truth. Time Crisis II is my irrefutable proof.
	Manhunt review (PS2) Reviewed on June 11, 2005 Manhunt’s critical acclaim led me to believe it would be more than a game that relied purely on the shock value of its graphic violence for attention.
	Balloon Fight review (NES) Reviewed on June 10, 2005 Starbuck faces shortcomings in technology that don’t hinder his enemy. When he manages to pop an enemy’s singular balloon (to William J. Starbuck’s advantage, he has two balloons!), they have parachutes that allow them to fall gently, often allowing them to float above nearby suspended rocky ledges, as opposed to the infested waters below, where Kazak the space mutant fish would surely like to devour them.
	Road Rash II review (GEN) Reviewed on June 10, 2005 There’s little you can’t do, and there isn’t much that can’t happen, especially over the course of a full race. Fight off the aptly named WAR HAMMER with your bare fists or with an available weapon; swerve in and out of the lanes, avoiding traffic and, on rare occasions, wildlife; and outrun the law to avoid being busted, disqualified from the race, and fined.

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