Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past review (SNES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Take Super Mario World. The same level aesthetic, the same goofy tree sprites, the weird ''Mushroom Kingdom'' look of it all. Apply a steamroller over the game at a 45 degree angle and call the result an ''isometric overhead perspective.'' Replace Mario with a squat, short-bus rendition of the fabled ''Link'' character.
	Spider-Man & Venom: Separation Anxiety review (SNES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Sit still. Breathe, blink a few times. Prepare for the most illuminating, hell-harbingering revelation the gaming world has ever seen. Prepare for the naked truth about the miserable Separation Anxiety:
	Final Fight review (SNES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Final Fight was originally released with the benefit of being alone in the next generation (of its era, 16 Bit) beat 'em up field. It started to really suck to be Final Fight when Streets of Rage was released; Streets of Rage came along and made Final Fight its female dog. Streets of Rage excels at making a semi-decent game look worse... Simply put, Final Fight is a sissy in the light of a better game.
	Earth Defense Force review (SNES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 If you take a child to an expensive restaurant, he'll stare vacantly at the menu. He'll skip past the forty dollar steaks slathered in twenty dollar mushroom sauce. He wants nothing to do with anything called ''parmigiana'' or ''primavera.'' He'll search the menu with a look of desperation and defeat as he cannot find macaroni and cheese with cut-up hot dogs, a dollar-store bargain meal he loves for lack of exposure to better food.
	Axelay review (SNES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 The stage: The Dread Pirate Shooterfan, after successfully delighting in the vast shooter libraries of the glorious Genesis and the timeless Turbo, chances upon the SNES... here he must face a battle of wits with the superhype machine itself:
	After Burner III review (SCD) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Mark my words: no game has been as thoroughly sodomized as Sega's AfterBurner. Think the Game Boy Advance is littered with horrid ports? How about the GBC with its laughable versions of otherwise successful games? You see, you know what you're getting with Nintendo's portables. Their drastically inferior hardware and minute visibility, for instance, will quell any real expectation you may feel grow for a port arriving for the systems. But Sega took it to the next level with AfterBurner.
	Panzer Dragoon Saga review (SAT) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Beyond life follows death, but for the most important of all dragon riders, beyond his death is his life, again. Death brings him his destiny, and death raises him from the commoner depths of labor and servitude to the forefront of the struggle between a world and its damnation. Edge, the youth who experiences this soul-altering transformation, dies at the outset of this, the single greatest RPG the world will ever see. He's resurrected and saved from his demise by a dragon, a magnificent beast ...
	Three Sisters' Story review (PC) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 You click and click and click. At first, the story seems interesting because it feels just around the corner from some hot, lusty naked cartoon action. Oh yeah, you're just a few scrolls of text away from the throbbing thrillhammer, huh... Yeah, just keep reading that insipid story about a family torn apart by corporate greed. The backdrop sets itself fast enough and the pace seems set to race toward wild teen orgies at any moment.
	Castlevania review (NES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 The name is worth a lot and you know it because it means something to you. You played it when you still had your youth, when you still loved birthday parties and still thought girls were gross. You loved Castlevania and it is as old as your love for games. Castlevania was ahead of its time; you've watched the world and the world of videogames change, and you've seen that the power of Castlevania seems to transcend these changes.
	Zombie Revenge review (DC) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 And so march the dead, yearning to be truly asleep, to escape their involuntary, macabre commitment to lifeless motion. They drone around, unsure of their actions or even of their existence. Their mouths hang from a lack of tissue vitality and their persistent lumbering speaks of their uncertainty of their own being. They've not even been granted the decency of death; their ''lives'' are aimless and torturous. They don't even desire life anymore- they just yearn to no longer spend foreseeable et...
	Virtua Fighter 3tb review (DC) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Virtua Fighter 3tb is not for everyone.
	Strikers 1945 II review (SAT) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 A Psikyo shooter is a pretty recognizable thing. If you've had some history with the company's shmup fare, you could easily have won a ''Name That Developer'' challenge with, say, the Dreamcast's Gunbird II. Similarities amongst their games prevail in every nook and cranny, from their obviously similar 2D coding to their uncannily familiar menu screens. Most of all, though, up until the release of Cannon Spike, the mild redundancy that ran so deeply through Psikyo's games was mostly due to an ea...
	T.R.A.G. - Tactical Rescue Assault Group: Mission of Mercy review (PSX) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 T.R.A.G. wasn't even a great concept to begin with. Its base elements manage to be generic AND completely plagiarized at the same time. It wanted to be just a boring action game; T.R.A.G. feels like it was destined to be completely one dimensional in its craptitude. The developers, in a moment of pure idiotic ingenuity, fiddled with what was already guaranteed to suck; the result is one of the most worthless discs ever put to press.
	Spider-Man & Venom: Maximum Carnage review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Over the years, Acclaim has tortured the world with its arduous library of licensed fodder, ''original'' garbage and malicious mixtures of the two. Acclaim has consistently released turd after turd into the underpants of the videogame world, soiling the seats of gamers and leaving its foul streaks to never be forgotten.
	Super Mario World review (SNES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 It's something of human nature to form rifts and divisions over situations. When you're older, serious issues like divorce, abortion, religion, etc. cause people to choose a side and defend/attack zealously. When you're younger (or just a geek), less important things occupy your time, so less important things cause you to rally for a side. For modern youth, including my own childhood, this behavior was embodied much in the form of the Sega Vs Nintendo argument.
	Super Castlevania IV review (SNES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 It must be a case of brainwashing. For, if any doubts ever entered the rabid SNES fan's head, they'd be soon shaken away by the word ''Super'' in the game's title. No game with such surname hyperbole could ever be second-best.
	Robo Aleste review (SCD) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Sometimes you have to look where the coal is to find the diamond.
	Space Harrier review (32X) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Space Harrier is a game of unique mold from a time when there were practically no conventions for games. In its day, most genres hadn't been carved yet and games only resembled each other in minimalistic principal similarities. As the lines that defined games became more clear, Space Harrier continued to remain untouched in its simple quality. Space Harrier is a shooter, but it is a groundbreaking and important shooter that would remain unchallenged in its playability and its archetype.
	Blackthorne review (32X) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 It doesn't take much for a great game to be overlooked. Lack of marketing, release window too late in a console's life... just one snafu can make an excellent and potentially successful game disappear from gamers' minds.
	Panzer Dragoon II Zwei review (SAT) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Shooters, typical in their brievity and to-the-point nature, have never been known for scale. They're reknowned for intensity and adrenaline, but they most usually come without grandeur or flair. This isn't to their detriment; it rather makes them pure gameplay powerhouses, and the games do not suffer for lack of scope. However, Panzer Dragoon Zwei is not a typical shooter, and instead brings to the genre the first ''epic'' shooter.

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