Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Galactic Attack review (SAT) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Never call this game Galactic Attack. Its arcade form was called RayForce, its home conversion in Japan was titled Layer Section... both were great, virile names. Acclaim saw fit to ravage such an eminent mixture of gameplay and nomenclature by dubbing it the horrendous Galactic Attack; join me, though, as I attempt to ignore the words on the disc and review this game, this peak of 16-bit-style design: Layer Section.
	Castlevania Chronicles review (PSX) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 It has been decreed that Dracula shall only rise from his grotesque slumber every 100 years. Pity then poor Simon Belmont, who has been burdened with no less than four battles with the demon. As many times as Simon has willed himself to fight, so too has there been some loophole for the Count to slip through after his defeat. His body nearly broken and his heart in tattered shreds, Simon's fatigue is metaphorical for that of the game; this game kills him and his legacy with its own lethargy. And...
	X-Men 2: Clone Wars review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 So we waited patiently for a decent X-Men game to come along. Marvel and their programming partners knew the franchise was strong enough to sell complete junk to the eager youth comprising their target audience. As our eagerness and optimism was continually exploited, we wound up with dud after dud, the highest crimes committed by the wretched LJN X-Men related games. Hell, the ''best'' game to see use of the label for years was the deadbeat Genesis X-Men, a horrible game to claim as the best of...
	Thunder Force III review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Thunder Force III is an initially impacting shooter. At first thrust, you're hooked; you rejoice in its beauty and it's soothingly comfortable. Thunder Force III has the basic elements of the series that earmark games like Lightening Force with the quality they're synonymous with. You soar through the levels and kill the enemies and advance quickly. The game gives itself to you and is a joy to behold. At first.
	Deathbots review (NES) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Deathbots is a lot like a stray dog. For one thing, it lacks a license. Secondly, its black, funny-shaped outer casing makes it a social pariah in a crowd of nice, clean, uniformly manufactured NES cartridges, much as a mutt with three legs, cataracts, and mange would feel out of place at the Westminster Dog Show. But most like a mongrel, Deathbots will come to your front doorstep on a day when you are expecting no company. It will beg for mercy, love, and pity, and because it has that glimmer o...
	Space Harrier II review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Space Harrier II is eerily similar to Space Harrier. In fact, it is more along the lines of a Space Harrier Remix than it is a sequel; it brings nothing new to the table and basically just rearranges the composition of the first game. Be that as it may, it's still Space Harrier in play, which amounts to fantastic, visceral shooting in its purest form.
	Sonic the Hedgehog 3 review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Sonic 3 is a masterpiece, plain and simple. It is the culmination of years of experience, talent, and refined technique; it is the masterwork of a gifted few that lets shine through their ingenuity and genius at their art. Sonic 3 is as evolved and fine-tuned as a platformer has ever been, and such brilliance has not been seen since. Sonic Team improved on an almost perfect approach to games, and gave the Genesis, and gaming as a whole, the most technically superb platforming experience it would...
	Sonic the Hedgehog review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Competition made games better. More specifically, vision and imagination in a time of competition made games better. Such is the only reason there is an existence of my favorite gaming lineage ever, that of Sonic the Hedgehog. Without the opponent and then tyrannically dominant entity that was Nintendo, I never would have been able to play one of the most important games I believe the world has ever seen. And without this competition, Nintendo would have transformed years ago into the dormant ca...
	Ex-Mutants review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 This game is bad, bad, bad, bad. How bad? Here's the premise: You were once a mutant. Now, though... Now... you're NOT.
	Castlevania: Bloodlines review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 As the world's people have consistently turned to the Belmonts for protection from the manifested Evil that is Dracula, so too have the Belmonts reciprocally thrived of their sacrifice to the destruction of the dark lord. It's in their blood; their blood is special. The human veins it flows through are imbued with the strength to overcome the heinous Satanic minion. Men and women cower and die in the wake of destruction laid by Dracula's powers. The Belmonts, bound by the strength of their blood...
	Altered Beast review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Altered Beast has become an internet nerd's whipping boy.
	The Adventures of Batman & Robin review (GEN) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 The feeling, when you want to like something, but can't- it permeates throughout the Batman and Robin experience. It makes you realize how great the potential for the game was, and conversely, how sad it is that it never reached it.
	Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage review (DC) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Gattsu is a bad hero. Gattsu is a man who cares for no one, except the singular exception of his life's love, Casca. He searches the medieval wasteland world for the cure for her disease, his soul an otherwise vacant, purposeless being.
	SoulCalibur review (DC) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 Soul Calibur wasn't always the Dreamcast's ''best'' game.
	Cannon Spike review (DC) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 While it has played host to some great shooters and some generic shooters, the DC has really had a ridiculous amount of ''shooters with a twist.'' Realistically, every shmup developer claims their game has a collection of unique elements that makes theirs better- thing is, every now and then, it's not rhetoric. Such is the case with Psikyo and Capcom's Cannon Spike, the best ''twist'' shooter on the DC.
	Mortal Kombat review (GG) Reviewed on March 14, 2004 My how times change. When I was around 12 and 13, all I ever heard from my friends was how awesome Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat 2 were. It seemed like I was the only boy in the world that didn't live in the arcades during the day learning all of Mortal Kombat's moves and then stay up all night playing it at home. To me, it was just OK. Fast forward 10 years and now it seems like i'm an outcast yet again! Ask nearly any other reviewer and they'll be like, ''OMG! MORTAL ...
	Choaniki: Sei Naru Protein Densetsu review (PS2) Reviewed on March 13, 2004 In this era of remakes and resuscitations, I suppose this game shouldn't have been a surprise — but still, Super Big Brother is one of the last series I expected to rise from the ashes... ashes formed from developer NCS-Masaya's dead, burning corpse. Point is, Legend of the Holy Protein features sexy-awesome style and its frenetic action should be enough to turn on any hardcore Psikyo shmup fan.
	Super Mario 64 review (N64) Reviewed on March 13, 2004 In 1985, Mario ushered in a new era of gaming. The platformer genre moved beyond the limited scope of Pitfall or Jungle Hunt as the original Super Mario Bros shattered the old way of playing these games. It set the standard, and every platformer afterward owed its thanks to this strange plumber. Eleven years later, Nintendo did it again. Once again, an entirely new style of games was created when Super Mario 64 burst onto the scene, and again the industry followed in its footsteps. But this time...
	Metroid: Zero Mission review (GBA) Reviewed on March 12, 2004 The original Metroid, released in 1986, captivated its players by providing a challenging and epic quest. Featuring Samus Aran, a female bounty hunter with a mysterious past, players navigated unchartered terrain on an alien planet in an attempt to destroy the evil that reigned within its depths. Collecting items was a key part of the quest, as certain doors and locations were impossible to pass without a specific powerup. Many players spent countless hours in the deep caverns of Zebes fighting ...
	Strider 2 review (PSX) Reviewed on March 12, 2004 It saddens me to say this, but the 2D platformers genre is dying. Everyone remembers playing Super Mario Bros., Castlevania, and numerous other fine titles. But now all those games have evolved into 3D scavenger hunts. The fun of perfectly executing a challenging jump has been replaced by hunting for an endless amount of items or battling awkward camera angles just to land the easiest of jumps. Strider 2 is an attempt to recapture the former days of 2D excellence, but ca...

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