Reviews by kingbroccoli

Final Fantasy X review

Final Fantasy X reached down a mighty, benevolent hand and pulled a faltering series from the tepid water in which it was drowning. Years of terrible indiscretions were forgotten in an instant, as the epic quest of Tidus and Yuna banished…

kingbroccoli · July 30, 2004

Reader NES

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! review

Most gaming protagonists do not need our help, for they have been blessed with the skills, weapons, physique and mentality to win at all costs. They strut about the screen, preening and flexing and sneering dismissively at all who dare…

kingbroccoli · July 12, 2004

Reader PlayStation

NHL '98 review

There comes a time in every reviewers life when he has to defy common sense, shut down a large portion of his brain and dive into the neon trash-can that is franchise sports. EA Sports is generally the main offender, churning out the same…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader PC

God of Thunder review

Usually the excitement that surrounds a free game lasts from the time the download starts, to the time the game actually begins. It certainly may be a big buzz to be able to experience a game for the price of nothing, but eventually…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader PC

3D Movie Maker review

If you're the kind who just loves getting out there and making your own home movies, but find your scope limited by the low-quality of your mummy's camcorder, then Microsoft may just have the right little tool for you! What they've given…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader Game Boy

Kirby's Dream Land 2 review

“Kirby! Your arch-enemy King Dedede has been possessed! You must save him!” This fatuous premise kick-starts Kirby’s Dream Land 2, one of the better GameBoy games in circulation. Poor old Kirby. Just after defeating the aforementioned…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader Game Boy Advance

Super Mario Advance review

Super Mario Advance, a dual Mario game, has crashed onto the fledgling Game Boy Advance system with a moderate amount of style. This cartridge contains two old ''classics'', Super Mario Bros. 2 and the absolutely ancient Mario Bros. These…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader Game Boy Advance

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone review

Yet another eerie hallway looms in front of you. You creep down it - ever so slowly - daring not to make a noise. Hideous gargoyles and grotesque oil paintings line the walls, making you wish you hadn’t left your invisibility cloak tucked…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader PlayStation

Syphon Filter 3 review

Rarely in the history of gaming has there been a more apt name for a particular game's character than Gabriel Logan. The star of the Syphon Filter franchise can indeed flit around any given landscape with the grace and agility of an…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader PlayStation

Final Fantasy VIII review

As the sun sets and dusk approaches, the two tribes draw near. They're shouting, brandishing weapons, and waving silk banners of all kinds of colours. As they get closer the din rises, and insults that would strip paint off a wall are…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader Genesis

Mortal Kombat II review

I'm not here to lambast Mortal Kombat II for its ridiculous interpretations of the laws of physics. Some might call it nitpicking, if I were to rebuke the game for the way it's characters move as if underwater, throwing themselves around…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader Genesis

Batman Returns review

The Gotham City I know is a source of mystery and wonderment. It’s an eclectic amalgamation of monolithic skyscrapers, scraping the heavens with their neon trappings; and shadowy alleys, where the hefty criminal element lurks. Countless…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader Nintendo 64

Conker's Bad Fur Day review

Yes, you can laugh as Conker the Squirrel lurches on-screen and slices the hapless 64 logo in half. You can laugh your silly little brains out for all I care. But should you not also stop and use those shrivelled brains to think for a…

kingbroccoli · July 9, 2004

Reader SNES

Super Mario Kart review

I want you to be my friend. I want you in my house, right now. We can intertwine our bodies on my patchwork beanbag every night and together we’ll while away the hours. There will be no pain, there will be no confrontation; there will be…

kingbroccoli · June 29, 2004

Reader Genesis Review of the Week

Ecco The Dolphin review

Games about dolphins are for wimps. I’m too busy exuding machismo to be flouncing about the ocean with creatures too puny to hang with the whales, too docile to swim with the sharks. Game’s like Ecco the Dolphin are made by the girls, for…

kingbroccoli · June 29, 2004

Reader PlayStation 2

TimeSplitters 2 review

Oh no! The TimeSplitters are back! But let's face it, if anyone had the pleasure of playing the first instalment of the TimeSplitters series they'd know that these title characters proved to be the most useless of adversaries. It was as if…

kingbroccoli · April 25, 2004

Reader PlayStation 2

TimeSplitters review

Once upon a time a mystical group of people called Rare made a mystical game called Goldeneye and a lot of people liked it, everyone was happy. But one day darkness fell over the land of Rareware, an evil sorceror and his followers ran…

kingbroccoli · April 25, 2004

Reader PlayStation 2 Review of the Week

The Sims review

So there I was, as usual, crouched on my bedroom floor and playing some newfangled video games. All of a sudden, the door opens and this family (my own, presumably) trudge in, a united front. The father figure opens his greasy chops…

kingbroccoli · April 25, 2004

Reader PlayStation 2

The Getaway review

If the vibrating function of my dual-shock controller was still alive today (which it isn’t, thanks Sony!) then I’m sure it would quake uncontrollably every time my copy of The Getaway finds its way into my PS2. And rightly so. I am not an…

kingbroccoli · April 25, 2004

Reader PlayStation 2

Tekken Tag Tournament review

Tekken was one of the first PSX games ever released, and the whole Tekken trilogy has become one of the most famous gaming franchises around. It should come as no surprise that one of the PS2 launch games was in fact a Tekken game, a port…

kingbroccoli · April 25, 2004