Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for NES games. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

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	Gradius review (NES) Reviewed on January 03, 2004 From deep space and the theme that accompanies it, we fly full tilt into the earthly environs of level one. Dormant volcanoes line the ground, until at last, one volcano proves to be active, and violently so. Hide, and pray, and shoot, and survive the angry magma to fight Gradius' only boss (outside of the final one, snicker. More on him later). A nondescript ship faces off with you on the right of the screen and moves up and down, loosing volleys of slivery blue lasers. The same pattern is necessary for every level when he greets you. Take his eye out for the first time in level one, knowing that it won’t be the last.
	Faxanadu review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 You know this sprite. You’ve seen him brandish a whip in the legendary Castlevania, and bear upon his shoulder a hawk in the not-so-legendary 8 Eyes. He’s the ubiquitous NES adventurer sprite. And he reappears, ready for action, in Faxanadu.
	Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 Trevor, who powers axe and holy water and dagger and stopwatch with fallen hearts from candles on walls to augment his whipping power; just as Christopher would do before him, and as Simon - the most famous Belmont - would do after him. And then there is Dracula, who is both pitiful and inspirational in his totalitarian rule of despair and depravity, rallying every undead and crumbling and rotting wraith of yesteryear to follow him, to fall in line with him, to encircle his kingdom with grotesque protection and make him whole.
	Castlevania II: Simon's Quest review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 Despite destroying Dracula in game one, stout-hearted Vampire Killer (that’s a proper title, I’d have you know!) Simon Belmont is stricken by a curse at the hands of the dying despot, and desperately needs to find five of the bloodsucker’s body parts in order to be free of what plagues him. A nasty business to be sure - I’m not altogether certain, but hack Thomas Harris might have lent some assistance in developing the gruesome plot.
	Castlevania review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 Could Konami have known? Did they have even the slightest inkling that their clichéd tale of a stout, brave-hearted adventurer up against a haunted house and all its various and typical denizens would spawn over a dozen incarnations? Surely not. Yet, something like fifteen years after the first adventure featuring Simon’s side-scrolling simplicity, we are playing Castlevania in pseudo-3D, jaded as we watch impossibly real polygonal presentations of Simon’s pretenders to his legacy doing their thing, while big budget orchestrations sing along sweetly.
	Cabal review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 So you wanna be a guerilla (what, playing as Donkey Kong isn’t enough?). As mentioned, you can take a buddy along, so that the cabal now has two members (and it's a good thing, because I'm not sure that one constitutes a cabal). The two of you are quite deadly and nothing will intimidate you.
	Astyanax review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 Thankfully, the story told here can be skipped by pressing the start button. However, should you care to know, Astyanax is a young blonde high school freshman, selected for a world-shattering mission by fate (what else?) and accosted by a fairy from another world named Cutie (what else?). She drags you into her world to rescue a fair princess (Princess Rosebud of Remlia) - against your will. Despite her constant apologies and her help with magic during the proceedings, you can’t help but hate her for getting you into this mess. You were going to lose your virginity that night, and then this!
	Base Wars review (NES) Reviewed on December 22, 2003 If the tedious fights were taken out of Base Wars, or if the faulty computer intelligence had been fixed, a better baseball game would have been produced. As it stands though, Base Wars is just an inferior hybrid.
	Hydlide review (NES) Reviewed on December 19, 2003 Rumors have it that Hydlide was released on this planet to turn humans into weaklings so a bunch of cutesy, bi-colored characters could invade us.
	A Nightmare on Elm Street review (NES) Reviewed on December 18, 2003 Don't deny it! You were afraid of Freddy Kruger. You know, the guy who was killed by his neighbors because he murdered their children... or something like that. Well, he comes back to haunt the remaining neighbors by entering their dreams and killing them there. Of course, the drawback to this is that they would parish altogether, asleep or not.
	Kirby's Adventure review (NES) Reviewed on December 18, 2003 The stars... they're bright tonight.
	Tecmo Cup Soccer Game review (NES) Reviewed on December 18, 2003 Once upon a time, grew a boy, in Japan, called Tsubasa Ozora. Tsubasa would ever since his birth act differently from his peers. Indeed, while his buddies would relentlessly talk about their favorite comics, movies and girls, Tsubasa would remain alone. It should however be said that Tsubasa was not really alone. He would spend a lot of time with his best friend. His best friend was a ball, a football (soccer).
	Super Mario Bros. review (NES) Reviewed on December 17, 2003 Super Mario Brothers is instantly memorable, and over time, its appeal only grows. It isn’t as goofy as its oddball sequel, nor is it as wondrous as the magical third game in the series to appear for the system. But it has a wholly old school personality that will please gamers who can find enjoyment in simplicity. If this isn’t you, stay away from this game; you'll likely faint at the madness of boss area loops and palette swapped environs.
	Tagin' Dragon review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 When you eat warm food, you feel warmer, especially if it is a juicy, mouth-watering sirloin steak you just took a bite out of.
	Pesterminator review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 With a name like Kernel Kleanup, how can you lose? Easily, that's how. For one thing, the dorks at Western Exterminator and Color Dreams didn't even spell it right. It's Colonel, not Kernel. And he must think he's got that rat right where he wants him, what with the hammer cleverly hidden behind his back and all. Still, a wave of familiarity will hit you like a brick in the face even you've never played this game. How so? Well, odds are you've probably seen this guy on the Mossimo shirts from ba...
	Gyromite review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 When Nintendo came about from its humble foray into arcades to raise a home console system, they felt this strange need to categorize all their games for you. You had the Sports Series, the Adventure Series, even the Programmable Series, and so on and so forth. Each of their conveniently labeled genres lived up to their silly monikers and earned Nintendo a spotless reputation. What is startling but not altogether surprising to find out now, however, is that most of these games have aged like che...
	Mr. Gimmick review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 I've played some mighty weird games in my tenure here as a reviewer. One allowed you to swim through a sea of milk and featured an evil tapir as the final boss. Another placed you in the role of a blue blob whose primary line of offense consisted of projectile vomiting his nucleus at his aggressors. Still another game allowed you to grow a raccoon's tail and use it as a flying implement whenever you collected something so simple as a leaf. Granted, that last one turned out to be massively popula...
	Urban Champion review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 In 1984, Nintendo was the luckiest company on the face of the gaming planet. With Atari taking a shameful nosedive into oblivion, Nintendo had a clean slate on all fronts. After moving the foundations of the arcade scene, Nintendo seized the opportunity to make a boatload of games that everybody could enjoy. There were games for the sports enthusiast, games for the new rising breed of platforming fans, and enough quirky small packages of miscellany to keep all gamers on their toes.
	Taboo: The Sixth Sense review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 I suppose it's not fair that I went into Taboo: The Sixth Sense with a predisposition to dislike it. Then again, it's reasonable not to expect much from a non-game whose sole purpose is to give you the most obtuse answer possible to any given question. Taboo falls into its own special category along with a handful of other games designed solely to piss off the average gamer, because it's not a game. It's a short, five-minute activity that was poorly passed off as an exciting product that could h...
	Seicross review (NES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 I have no idea what this game is really about. All I know is that of the four games that came with my $2 NES, it was the only one I had never heard of. The label on the cartridge is standard 80's artistry - rides on hovering bikes sideswiping each other on a futuristic landscape. It elucidated little of the mystery within save for rudimentary aesthetic details. Hesitant though I was, I knew it would have to be the first game I tried out. After a short session of rigorously blowing on the pin con...

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