Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse review (XBX) Reviewed on April 27, 2006 Imagine that after living a crappy life, you were murdered, just like that and even worse, when they threw your ass into a hole in the ground, no one cared. No one came to wish you your best as you began your journey into your afterlife. There were no fancy tombs, no sacrifices, no screaming widows; just a lump left in the Earth after the dirt was thrown on top of you. That would suck. Moments before your death, as your life flashed before your eyes, you’d wish for a chance to come back and do t...
	Tekken 5 review (PS2) Reviewed on April 26, 2006 Tekken 5 was out for more than a year before I even realized it existed. Kind of sad, really, when you consider I’m the guy who spent most of his teenage years pumping enough quarters into Tekken 3 to pay for college. Why? I just didn’t care anymore. Tag was boring and 4 never entered my thoughts let alone my collection, but in browsing I had hope for 5. “Rebuilt engine, customize your characters.” I read. “Prepare for the deepest, most relentless fighting acti...
	Top Spin review (PS2) Reviewed on April 24, 2006 Indisputably a revelation at its initial release, Top Spin spent its first two years of existence secluded in the land of Microsoft. But with the sequel tapped to expand the franchise fiefdom to Nintendo’s handhelds, Sony needed a piece of the action as well. So out came the PS2 version of the original game, raring to teach everyone who avoided the XBox how deep and enjoyable a well done game of tennis could be. Unfortunately, the main lesson here is how much an old and unimproved pi...
	Tetris DS review (DS) Reviewed on April 24, 2006 Did you ever have a friend that you would sit down and play Tetris with and they absolutely sucked at it? No matter what they did, no matter how far they leaned over on the edge of their chair and concentrated, you were still better than them? Well, I was that friend to someone, somewhere. I suck at Tetris. My friends and I play Tetris drunk against each other and even when they’re drunk, I still get totally trounced every single time. I’ll occasionally win a round when they...
	Donkey Kong Country review (SNES) Reviewed on April 22, 2006 In 1994, Nintendo was in a bit of a pickle. The SNES was starting to be outmatched. 3DO, Jaguar, and now this newfangled "Sega 32X", with the Saturn and PlayStation due next year! And the N64 was still a ways off! How could Nintendo possibly compete with these flurry of formidable 32-bit consoles? (Actually, four of those five "competitors" barely managed to let a fart out before their hasty death, but hey, hindsight is 20/20.) Well, Nintendo struck a deal with Silicon Graphics (the premier CGI ...
	Full Auto review (X360) Reviewed on April 21, 2006 I love explosions. Explosions are one of the best things to come out of the 80s. Fuck the big hair bands; give me the explosions of Rambo and Predator and I’m satisfied. And that my friend is what Full Auto gives us. Explosions abound in Full Auto. It’s the whole point of the game. You strap yourself into the seat of some generic vehicle that’s completely loaded with guns and mines and grenades and all sorts of other weapons, and then you take to streets and blow the ...
	Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams review (XBX) Reviewed on April 16, 2006 After I played the original "Silent Hill", I was left wondering what direction the storyline would take in its sequel. I didn't expect a direct continuation, because the elements of that storyline were so conclusive. But I did at least expect it to take place within the Silent Hill Township, and more importantly within the mythos of the first game. In that first story, a child and her father feel compelled to go to the Silent Hill resort town to resolve a preternatal past that is haunting her. T...
	Condemned: Criminal Origins review (X360) Reviewed on April 15, 2006 Poor Ethan Thomas, he got screwed over big time. Upon investigating a crime scene in a rusty, broken-down building, he and two police officers discover that the killer is still in the place. Sounds like a simple job, right? I mean, it's three armed men against one, they'll have the dude pinned down by the end of the first chapter. Well, a couple of dead hobos later, he witnesses the two police men get shot by the serial killer with his own gun. Sucks, right? It gets worse. Ethan gets framed for ...
	Space Harrier II review (GEN) Reviewed on April 14, 2006 Space Harrier is not a game. Space Harrier is an idea. I can envision a programmer at Sega fiddling around with some code during his spare time and creating a functional 3D checkerboard field. Cue the proverbial light bulb.
	Resident Evil 4 review (PS2) Reviewed on April 13, 2006 The Resident Evil games never really changed that dramatically over the course of the series (up to recently). They never ventured very far beyond the boundaries of standard survival horror, even if the series had itself invented a lot of what now defines the genre. However, as the games progressed, they appeared to become more and more monotonous. There's only so many moaning zombies and skinless dogs a person can take before they begin to ask for something a little different. In the fourth gam...
	Second Sight review (PS2) Reviewed on April 12, 2006 Do you like bald men? Yes? Like men with hair? Yes? Well then a person like you must be in a bit of a dilemma over which third-person action/adventure games to invest in. Well, for all those who base their purchases on the state of the characters hair (you know who you are), Second Sight may be the game for you.
	Darkwatch review (PS2) Reviewed on April 11, 2006 Jericho Cross, an outlaw in the wild west, holds up a train one night in an attempt to rob it of any treasure it may hold. However, he soon finds out that what is in the train is slightly more than he bargained for. By holding up the train, he unwittingly released a vampire lord, who curses the west, filling it with blood-hunting demons and monsters. So...it was a bad move.
	Pac-Man review (A2600) Reviewed on April 10, 2006 I remember Christmas 1981 so well. It was a season of anticipation for one of the few gifts I wanted that year -- a copy of the Atari 2600 port of "Pac-Man". That game had literally dominated the arcades since it arrived, and I was weary of having to stand in line for a chance to play a game that might only last five minutes. Games of speed and skill like "Pac-Man" took time to master, and it seemed like the ration of time I received in respect to other gamers just wasn't enough to develop the n...
	Facade review (PC) Reviewed on April 09, 2006 Questioning whether Façade is a game would be to overlook its importance in game design. In fact, to rant on this independent-party, low-budget, one-gigabyte download would be a failure to admit its inherent production value. Façade does not intend to be a masterpiece. It intends to be an experiment in artificial intelligence and natural language processing, allowing you to type a short sentence of dialogue at any time during a conversation. And what better place to interrupt a con...
	Lightening Force: Quest for the Darkstar review (GEN) Reviewed on April 08, 2006 The Genesis has a lot of shooters. Not just any type of shooter, mind you, but the variety that encompasses Gradius, R-Type, Darius, etc... You know, the subgenre of shooters that no one can quite settle on a name for. The term "space shooter" doesn't include games with non-space settings, like 1942 or Legendary Wings; "scrolling shooter" doesn't include 3D shooters like Star Fox or stationary shooters like Galaga; "shoot-'em-up" also brings to mind run 'n' guns like Contra and Gunstar Heroes; a...
	Battlefield 2: Modern Combat review (PS2) Reviewed on April 08, 2006 An explosion rings in your ears, and the flaming shell of a light assault vehicle is catapulted into the air. Rounds of suppressing fire spark off everywhere. It is war. A few milliseconds later you are in control of a rocket-toting engineer. You fire off a rocket… Suddenly, you are in control of a tank. Advancing through the burning rubble, you rotate the cannon and fire at a shroud of advancing enemies… Another explosion and you are in control of a sniper, high above the battle. A few of the o...
	Metroid Prime Pinball review (DS) Reviewed on April 06, 2006 The amalgamation of genres so inherently different usually elicits a three-letter internet acronym from many a videogamer that begins with a "W" and ends with an "F". This is precisely the reception that Metroid Prime: Pinball got when it was announced, not only because Nintendo rolled up a first person adventure into a tiny pinball, but also because - well - "...it's just a pinball game." Further, because developer Fuse Games was also responsible for the utterly mundane Mario Pinball land, it a...
	Advance Wars: Dual Strike review (DS) Reviewed on April 06, 2006 Advance Wars: DS' gameplay is identical to its predecessors', which can only be a good thing. Like Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising, and the original before it, Dual Strike utilizes a rock-paper-scissors mechanic that balances simplicity and depth beautifully. On paper, it doesn't seem like much. You'll take turns with your opponent deploying units from friendly bases, capturing neutral and hostile properties, and attacking units until you either destroy all of your enemy's forces or capture th...
	The Outfit review (X360) Reviewed on April 06, 2006 The Outfit is definitely an energetic WWII title (and it's not a FPS for a change *gasps*), getting things into gear the moment you begin the first mission. As you walk around your supposedly safe base, still getting accustomed to the controls of one of the three main characters you chose (each having a different main and secondary weapon), a bunch of Nazis drop down from the sky trying to ruin your shit. You can easily take them out yourself, because you're obviously a manly man (or.... ...
	Polarium review (DS) Reviewed on April 06, 2006 "It will be the next [anything]" is a claim thrown around far too often. It happens in sports, music and Hollywood. Unsurprisingly, such claims also permeate the videogame realm, and perhaps to even a greater extent than they do the aforementioned sectors of entertainment. Titles claiming to be a "Halo killer" or the next "Grand Theft Auto" should be approached like Miss Cleo - with much skepticism.

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