Review Archives (Staff Reviews)
You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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Shienryu review (SAT)Reviewed on September 03, 2005Even thinking about the genre-defining Thunder Force IV was more exciting than playing this, the most forgettably average vertical shooter ever created. |
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KISS Psycho Circus: The Nightmare Child review (DC)Reviewed on August 31, 2005Now take a second to reflect; someone out there thought it would be a good idea to take an aging rock band and throw them into a video game. Consider with horror the fate we would suffer if this trend would have caught on. Ziggy Stardust's Pro Skateboarding would be a hit, equalled only by QueenFighter II. |
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Riviera: The Promised Land review (GBA)Reviewed on August 28, 2005Riviera: The Promised Land was one of the most kick-ass games ever released on the underachieving WonderSwan Crystal. Its GBA incarnation features loads of new voices (that's good) and majorly cutified character designs (that's bad), but otherwise it's a byte-by-byte port of the original. In other words, Riviera's still (almost) as awesome as it ever was. |
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Pac 'n Roll review (DS)Reviewed on August 26, 2005When you swipe the stylus across the screen, his counterpart in the top screen will move a bit. If you repeatedly make quick but short strokes, he’ll sort of wander about as desired. Swift and longer brushes, particularly those executed in a gattling-gun sort of sense, will send him flying along the various ledges and hills and whatever else is in sight. That’s almost all there is to controlling Pac-Man. Almost. |
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Bio-Hazard Battle review (GEN)Reviewed on August 25, 2005Inverting Expectations |
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Sigma Star Saga review (GBA)Reviewed on August 22, 2005As you wander about, beams of light sometimes begin to rise around your body and you won’t be able to move. In terms of plot, this means one of the ships is asking the armor you wear for assistance. In terms of gameplay, it means you’ve just been invited to a mandatory random battle. Before you can resume whatever you were doing, you must pilot your craft through a side-scrolling shooter stage. |
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Twinkle Star Sprites: La Petite Princesse review (PS2)Reviewed on August 21, 2005It's a strange old world we live in when someone can look down on you for playing a game like Twinkle Star Sprites: La Petite Princesse. Explaining that it's the latest in Playmore's line-up of rejuvenated, Neo Geo classics does nothing for your cause, such mega street cred soon lost on a dozen incredulous looks and a patronizing pat on the back. |
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Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome review (PS2)Reviewed on August 18, 2005Any character can learn the skills associated with any of the numerous classes available in the game. This means that you can start a character out as a witch, learn a few powerful spells, then switch her over to the archer class to boost her strength and speed. Any reincarnated party member retains the stat-boosting skills he or she may have gained in the previous life. The minute you grasp this concept, its enormity hits you like a Mac truck. |
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Taiko no Tatsujin Portable review (PSP)Reviewed on August 13, 2005Under ideal circumstances, I doubt I would have given Taiko no Tatsujin Portable the time of day. Stripped of its hulking arcade cabinet and matching drum kits, it's easy to believe the resulting experience might be found lacking. The concept is so ludicrous in fact, one could also imagine a lone, Japanese coder committing seppu-ku after suggesting it over a ball rice and a bottle of sake. |
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Jump Superstars review (DS)Reviewed on August 11, 2005Reviewing Jump Superstars is like putting your manhood on the table and asking a jilted ex-lover to hold the knife: you can only close your eyes and hope for the best. Should the game be total and utter rubbish, my opinion stands to not only upset DS owners, but virtually every half-crazed-anime-fan on the face of this planet... and as far as horrifying prospects go, you'd best pass the knife. |
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Mami Inoue: Kono Hoshi ni Tatta Hitori no Kimi review (TGCD)Reviewed on August 10, 2005As you play this Super CD that uses chip music (except for one excruciatingly long and badly-photoshopped karaoke sequence), you get to do such exciting things as LOOK, TALK, and THINK. On one of the scripted adventure paths, you get to listen to your class's entire roll call from top to bottom. Then you enjoy the excitement of looking at the clock over and over to advance the "story", because staring at the clock is the ONLY way to make time pass. |
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We Love Katamari review (PS2)Reviewed on August 08, 2005Initially, some may see Namco's decision to dub their release, "We Love Katamari", as an obvious attempt to fool thoughtless, Walmart shoppers. Part egocentric admission of self-confessed love, part marketing ploy from hell, the title's underhanded strategy is suspicious at best. It's lucky for us however, the revised moniker is anything but nefarious, and its carefully chosen wording has given players a glimpse of what is to come. |
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Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo review (TGCD)Reviewed on August 06, 2005Dracula X strikes a masterful balance between old-school Castlevania action and all that newfangled exploration that dominates the series today as surely as our hero strikes an oaken stake into some luckless bloodsucker’s heart. |
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The Legend of Dragoon review (PSX)Reviewed on August 06, 2005It's a game that has a story to tell. And hidden within the plot's ever-present twists and turns, it tries to give you something new. It craves to wow you, and it tries so hard to impress because it so wants to put itself on the map. |
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Harvest Moon review (SNES)Reviewed on August 06, 2005Maybe this just isn’t my type of game, but despite its superficially inventive premise, I really don’t see how “tedious exercises in monotony” could be anyone’s type of game. |
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Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow review (GBA)Reviewed on August 06, 2005I can't copy-paste on Dreamcast so no excerpt for you. Just click the review out of pity spawned by the fact that I am, in fact, typing this review on a Dreamcast. |
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Xevious review (ARC)Reviewed on August 06, 2005Xevious is nothing you'd play if you were embroiled in something great and substantial. But it's a decent distraction when there's nothing else at stake. Brainless blasting is always more attractive to me than an old puzzle game like Ms. Pacman or a provencial pseudo-platformer like Mappy, because you can actually go somewhere. The screen actually scrolls, the illusion of travelling occurs. |
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Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana review (PS2)Reviewed on August 04, 2005Between fighting slimes that look like little Puyo-Puyo's and enlisting the aid of the fairy yakuza Pilke, Atelier Iris is a fun adventure with enticingly colorful graphics and vibrantly peppy music. Sure, it lacks the touching drama of a masterpiece like Emerald Dragon, but far better to be fun than generic. |
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Nanostray review (DS)Reviewed on August 03, 2005Some games are fond of throwing oceans of bullets your way and calling it thrilling. There’s none of that here. You actually have room to move. Not only that, but one collision with a stray bullet isn’t your end. You still need to avoid shield-draining projectiles, but losing sight of them amidst the gorgeous backgrounds isn’t fatal. |
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Ossu! Tatakae! Ouendan! review (DS)Reviewed on July 31, 2005Nintendo's Ouendan is the feel good, surprise hit of the year. Coming straight out of left field, it's infectious good will and high spirits are guaranteed to make a believer of anyone dissatisfied with life. Like the way its hapless characters find themselves confronted and confounded by everyday troubles, players will no doubt identify with the situations they face. |
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