Review Archives (Staff Reviews)
You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.
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The Incredibles review (GBA)Reviewed on March 11, 2005The Incredibles is easy like Sunday morning. I breezed through the thing in a few subway rides to and from work, losing only a life or two in the process, playing at a time when I am at my most bleary eyed and cack-handed. |
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The Incredibles review (PS2)Reviewed on March 11, 2005The story of Bob Parr and his gifted family of superheroes (wife Mrs. Incredible, children Violet and Dash) is told inexcusably poorly. When you finish the adventure, you still won’t know what the movie is about. |
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The House of the Dead 2 review (DC)Reviewed on March 10, 2005House 2 takes the "living dead" theme and runs with it, creating a far, FAR more enjoyable shooting experience than Romero's horrific magnum opus Daikatana. While this game is "only" an on-rails shooting bonanza, the levels have been designed with the care one might expect from an FPS (or more care, if the FPS in question is that trainwreck Isle of the Dead). Doors can be unlocked with keys, rescued civilians will lead you down alternate paths, and zombies will drag you into hidden sewer tunnels! |
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Spawn: In the Demon's Hand review (DC)Reviewed on March 08, 2005Spawn: In the Demon's Hand had a more than fair chance to impress me. The designs of the immortal characters are both varied and inspired; the frail sharpshooter, the angel of death, the jester that transforms into a raging behemoth — they're all quite inspired, and I wanted to like them and their game. But I don't. |
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Maximo: Ghosts to Glory review (PS2)Reviewed on March 08, 2005I’ve played a handful of good 3D updates lately—Castlevania’s Lament of Innocence was one such solid title—but Maximo outdoes that game and just about any I can think of, at least on one crucial level. Other good 3D follow ups do justice to their predecessors, but Maximo is arguably better than the two 16-bitters to come before it. That’s right, better. |
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Bust-A-Move 2: Arcade Edition review (PSX)Reviewed on March 06, 2005Hello everyone. For going on seven years now, I've been addicted to Bust-a-Move. I can't stop, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to. |
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Streets of Rage review (GEN)Reviewed on March 05, 2005Final Fight, Streets of Rage 2, and Guardian Heroes all feature hulking studs. Streets of Rage, on the other hand, features skeletal dwarves. If you're the sort who claims "Size matters most!", then don't look here. But if you're the type of chap who is simply out for an enjoyable hellbender through town and surf, then 'Rage provides plenty of action amidst well-drawn locales. |
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Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening review (PS2)Reviewed on March 04, 2005Devil May Cry 3 has a scope that the original in all of its awesomeness couldn't have possibly matched. It actually goes back in time and chronicles the most important moment of Dante's life — the night during which he learned the truth about his birth and fought his twin brother Vergil, his only remaining kin, in an epic battle to the death. |
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Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time review (PS2)Reviewed on March 02, 2005At this point, you have two options. Either you can mash buttons like crazy and hope for the best, or you can press the 'L1' button. Go with the second choice and the game will stutter. You'll relive the last few seconds you played... backwards. In this manner, fatal dives into a sea of spikes and even poorly-timed jumps that would otherwise lead to frustrating backtracking can be avoided. |
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Namco Museum review (PSP)Reviewed on March 01, 2005Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me again though and... hey, it looks like I've just bought another Namco Museum. Formulatic, predictable, and oh so tiresome. Yes, you probably already know how this is going to work. Heck, if the truth be told, you should also have a fairly good idea of exactly what games to expect. |
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Earnest Evans review (GEN)Reviewed on March 01, 2005The game is not an utter pile. Unfortunately, it takes a bit of time to realize this. |
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Nanobreaker review (PS2)Reviewed on February 27, 2005Whereas manly brawlers like Chaos Legion or Dynasty Warriors throw everything at you simultaneously, Nanobreaker doles its orgamechs out in small, easily-sliced clusters as if this were a really boring version of Streets of Rage or Final Fight. |
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Valis: The Fantasm Soldier review (GEN)Reviewed on February 25, 2005Instead of the tale of heroine Yuko and former best bud Reiko's tragic friendship, the Valis manual talks about how Reiko is dating Rogles (King of the Dark World and general menace to society) because she thinks he's cute! What in the hell is that nonsense about? |
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Street Fighter II': Champion Edition review (TG16)Reviewed on February 24, 2005Most people are going to realize that buying this one just doesn’t make any practical sense for them. But that doesn’t take anything away from the fact that NEC pulled off a small miracle to come so close with such old hardware. |
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Ys VI: The Ark of Napishtim review (PC)Reviewed on February 23, 2005The major characters get plenty of chances to show their spunk, elation, despair, and grit, but the story isn't Falcom's focus. Let other companies create adventures with schizophrenic main characters! Let other companies fill their games with fifteen-minute-long mindrape cinematics! Falcom specializes in the action part of the action-RPG label, and this is where Ys VI shines. |
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Granada review (GEN)Reviewed on February 22, 2005Don't be turned away by the game's obscurity or the tiny blue tank's diminutive size — this remains one of the best games on Genesis, even today. Take a chance. |
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Mobile Train Simulator + Densha de GO! Tokyo Kyuukou Hen review (PSP)Reviewed on February 22, 2005But firstly, how does one go about breaking the stigma associated with such games? I could drone on about the anal retentive attention to detail required of players in order to meet the strict schedules of the Tokyo to Yokohama express lines, that however certainly isn't going to help my situation any. Perhaps then we should start with Mobile Train Simulator + Densha de GO!'s realistic good looks... |
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Metroid: Zero Mission review (GBA)Reviewed on February 21, 2005Aliens attack lone woman. Sexy results. |
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Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater review (PS2)Reviewed on February 20, 2005No massive conspiracies revolving around a staged oil spill and its subsequent cleanup structure, no horribly wrong talk of genetics and cloning, just a cool backstory that gives you a reason for being there and a reason for kicking ass. |
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Hitman: Contracts review (PS2)Reviewed on February 19, 2005Only once you finally access your unwitting target is brutality essential. Be it a 7.62mm NATO round to the heart, a poison-loaded sip of vintage Springbank, or just a silk pillow held over the breathing passages, it's that moment of perfect catharsis - when the ragdoll body slumps and the objective status politely flicks to completed - that the Hitman series has always been defined by. |
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