Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Metroid: Zero Mission review (GBA) Reviewed on February 21, 2005 Aliens attack lone woman. Sexy results.
	Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater review (PS2) Reviewed on February 20, 2005 No massive conspiracies revolving around a staged oil spill and its subsequent cleanup structure, no horribly wrong talk of genetics and cloning, just a cool backstory that gives you a reason for being there and a reason for kicking ass.
	Hitman: Contracts review (PS2) Reviewed on February 19, 2005 Only once you finally access your unwitting target is brutality essential. Be it a 7.62mm NATO round to the heart, a poison-loaded sip of vintage Springbank, or just a silk pillow held over the breathing passages, it's that moment of perfect catharsis - when the ragdoll body slumps and the objective status politely flicks to completed - that the Hitman series has always been defined by.
	OutRun2 review (XBX) Reviewed on February 19, 2005 Though your car flips end-over-end after a collision and lands on the roadway pointed exactly where you need to drive, such diversions cost you precious seconds you can’t possibly afford to lose. While your female passenger looks at you and asks you what you’re doing, or if you’re going to give up, you’ll find yourself mashing the accelerator in frustration, to no effect. But this isn’t a flaw in the game’s design. It simply means you need to drive better.
	WarioWare: Touched! review (DS) Reviewed on February 18, 2005 With only a few exceptions, this is all done with your stylus. That’s what differentiates this game from the original in the franchise. Adapting to the new style won’t take you long at all, and suddenly you’ll wonder how you ever played this sort of thing before (assuming you have, of course).
	Magic Knight Rayearth review (SAT) Reviewed on February 17, 2005 Rayearth's story is certainly one of growth and discovery, but it's hardly carefree. Despite the cutesy girls' fantasy trappings, this is an unmistakably mature adventure...
	Metal Wolf Chaos review (XBX) Reviewed on February 15, 2005 Thankfully though the action is a standard mix of slam, bam, thank you ma'am with just the right blend of high yield ka-pow. Viewed from a suitably panoramic third person perspective, players are taken on a veritable cross country tour of the United States, hitting all the major landmarks with an impressive amount of gusto and force.
	Gradius V review (PS2) Reviewed on February 13, 2005 Do we really need a Gradius that dares to be different? Sometimes the best in life can get no better, and if you decide to play God for a day then bad things have been known to happen. It's as such that Gradius V is best served as being a 12-gun salute to the past rather than the true sequel its name would seem to suggest.
	Gradius V review (PS2) Reviewed on February 12, 2005 Despite its positive elements, though, it's tough to recommend Gradius V when the mechanics and boss encounters of even decade-old Genesis shooters are substantially better.
	Prince of Persia: Warrior Within review (XBX) Reviewed on February 08, 2005 It's this apparently apathetic lack of true care that Prince of Persia: Warrior Within will be remembered for the most. Whereby the original stood out from the crowd with its polished gameplay and abundant good charm, its sequel comes off as a mere rehash, made to order in a paint by numbers fashion for the early Christmas rush.
	Swords & Serpents review (NES) Reviewed on February 07, 2005 Like I said, there’s not an in-depth plot. The game is more about exploration and the occasional adrenaline rushes that come from knowing you’re only surviving by the skin of your teeth. It is the very definition of ‘dungeon crawler,’ and embodies most everything you may dread about that phrase. If you’re one of the few who lives for this sort of thing, though, Swords & Serpents is one of the best the NES ever saw.
	Kiwi Kraze review (NES) Reviewed on February 06, 2005 No matter what your surroundings, though, the game doesn’t provide a lot of variety in terms of mechanics. You’re still just running through one level after another (mostly swimming between underwater pockets of air in the case of the aquatic world I mentioned), firing your bow to take out the other animals. Some of these leave behind other weapons, such as ray guns that let your shots pass through walls, or bombs you can fire in arches to hit enemies below you.
	City Connection review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 The problem is that all the timing in the world may not always be enough to save you. This is because some of the enemy sprites move so quickly and come so unexpectedly from off screen that only lightning-fast reflexes will save you. Worse, you have to be at the right level in order for an oil can shot to do any good.
	The Simpsons: Bartman Meets Radioactive Man review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 You’ll have to ride portable gun turrets throughout most of the stage, often down shafts where a slightly short jump (a move all too easy to execute, unfortunately) spell certain doom. But suppose you survive these just fine. There are still the occasional weak enemies that can easily decimate your entire life meter.
	Deja Vu: A Nightmare Comes True review (NES) Reviewed on February 01, 2005 Wine cellars, back room casinos and more serve to set the plot somewhere just after Prohibition ended. Throw in a few alleys that connect everything—you can’t just walk boldly down the street when you’re wanted, after all—and you still don’t have more than what amounts to perhaps a city street or two. It’s only the secret passages and such that make this quest feel any larger than it is.
	Ape Escape Academy review (PSP) Reviewed on February 01, 2005 The problem is though, try as they might, monkeys are not very good at imitating other people. Sure, dressing one up in a suit and giving it a cigarette may make us all smile, but its constant ass slapping and habitual masturbation is hardly the definition of quality entertainment. And that becomes an all too fitting caveat made doubly relevant once Piposaru Academia gets underway.
	The Legend of Zelda review (NES) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 Link moves with the elfish grace you might expect from his size. A quick thrust of the sword is enough to vanquish most foes, and when it’s not a secondary slash will do (at least, throughout most of the game). All he has to fear is the stream of fireballs Hyrule’s mermaid-like monsters launch from various rivers and lakes, as only a magical shield can deflect such attacks. Later, there are some projectiles even that armament won’t defend against.
	Snake Rattle 'N Roll review (NES) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 To reach the archway you see at the very top, you must zig-zag your way along a series of jumps. You leap forward, grinning because you know you can’t possibly miss the landing. And then you do. And again, and again. Many of these jumps aren’t straight, either. Some require you to wrap your way around a cliff mid-air. The problem is, it’s often hard to tell which move is required.
	Kimi ga Nozomu Eien review (PC) Reviewed on January 28, 2005 Kimi ga Nozomu Eien really comes alive in the second half. While the prologue always stuck Takayuki with Haruka, you can match him up with any of seven girls here, although some — like Haruka's really cute little sister Akane — are a lot tougher to catch than others.
	T&C 2: Thrilla's Surfari review (NES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 If the first few stages are frantic, the ones that follow are downright overwhelming. Soon you’ll find yourself weaving down a raging river as hippo heads and rocks threaten to knock you into the soup. Soon you’ll find yourself careening wildly through a desert, dodging scorpion venom and snakes and rocks that all conspire to knock you into pits. And those are just the easy parts.

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