Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	City Connection review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 The problem is that all the timing in the world may not always be enough to save you. This is because some of the enemy sprites move so quickly and come so unexpectedly from off screen that only lightning-fast reflexes will save you. Worse, you have to be at the right level in order for an oil can shot to do any good.
	The Simpsons: Bartman Meets Radioactive Man review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2005 You’ll have to ride portable gun turrets throughout most of the stage, often down shafts where a slightly short jump (a move all too easy to execute, unfortunately) spell certain doom. But suppose you survive these just fine. There are still the occasional weak enemies that can easily decimate your entire life meter.
	Deja Vu: A Nightmare Comes True review (NES) Reviewed on February 01, 2005 Wine cellars, back room casinos and more serve to set the plot somewhere just after Prohibition ended. Throw in a few alleys that connect everything—you can’t just walk boldly down the street when you’re wanted, after all—and you still don’t have more than what amounts to perhaps a city street or two. It’s only the secret passages and such that make this quest feel any larger than it is.
	Ape Escape Academy review (PSP) Reviewed on February 01, 2005 The problem is though, try as they might, monkeys are not very good at imitating other people. Sure, dressing one up in a suit and giving it a cigarette may make us all smile, but its constant ass slapping and habitual masturbation is hardly the definition of quality entertainment. And that becomes an all too fitting caveat made doubly relevant once Piposaru Academia gets underway.
	The Legend of Zelda review (NES) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 Link moves with the elfish grace you might expect from his size. A quick thrust of the sword is enough to vanquish most foes, and when it’s not a secondary slash will do (at least, throughout most of the game). All he has to fear is the stream of fireballs Hyrule’s mermaid-like monsters launch from various rivers and lakes, as only a magical shield can deflect such attacks. Later, there are some projectiles even that armament won’t defend against.
	Snake Rattle 'N Roll review (NES) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 To reach the archway you see at the very top, you must zig-zag your way along a series of jumps. You leap forward, grinning because you know you can’t possibly miss the landing. And then you do. And again, and again. Many of these jumps aren’t straight, either. Some require you to wrap your way around a cliff mid-air. The problem is, it’s often hard to tell which move is required.
	Kimi ga Nozomu Eien review (PC) Reviewed on January 28, 2005 Kimi ga Nozomu Eien really comes alive in the second half. While the prologue always stuck Takayuki with Haruka, you can match him up with any of seven girls here, although some — like Haruka's really cute little sister Akane — are a lot tougher to catch than others.
	T&C 2: Thrilla's Surfari review (NES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 If the first few stages are frantic, the ones that follow are downright overwhelming. Soon you’ll find yourself weaving down a raging river as hippo heads and rocks threaten to knock you into the soup. Soon you’ll find yourself careening wildly through a desert, dodging scorpion venom and snakes and rocks that all conspire to knock you into pits. And those are just the easy parts.
	Tiny Toon Adventures 2: Trouble in Wackyland review (NES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 In the sequel, it seems a secret admirer has invited you to visit him at the fun house in an amusement park. Before you can get in, though, you must collect tickets from rides. You gain these only by successfully completing the rides. Things still don’t seem so bad. Then you try the different attractions and you realize something awful: they all suck.
	Castlevania: Lament of Innocence review (PS2) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 There are hidden bosses galore, including The Forgotten One, a boss that has to be seen to be believed. The abominable creature has been locked far, far beneath the castle, hidden down and around swirling castle steps streaked fearfully with the scent of doom--the ultimate embodiment of that which should not be.
	The Flintstones: The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy review (NES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 Fortunately, there are plenty of reasons to keep trying, even when you find yourself dying more than you might like. For one, the levels themselves are quite pretty. Sure, they don’t boast a lot of polygons or even colors, but the artists rendered them in a quaint style that can cheer you as you travel through them. Dense jungles somehow seem cheerful thanks to vibrant colors. An undersea level oozes charm, as does a distant island resort you’ll visit late in the game.
	Paperboy review (NES) Reviewed on January 24, 2005 Of course, there are threats to your little newspaper empire. That cute little dog you see cowering in his home on the front lawn may very well bite you in the butt if you don’t toss a paper at just the right moment. And there are rumors that the Grim Reaper himself frequents the neighborhood from time to time. Add runaway lawnmowers, tires, go carts and disillusioned customers of times past and you have the formula for a rather dangerous job.
	Doom II review (GBA) Reviewed on January 24, 2005 The pillars in front of you open to display a veritable cornucopia of hellspawn, and you are quickly made aware that the ones behind you are doing the same. You are standing in the very centre of a rapidly closing circle of death: imps scream furiously at you as they unload a torrent of fireballs in your direction.
	Captain Skyhawk review (NES) Reviewed on January 24, 2005 To play the game well, you’ll have to adapt to the rapidly-changing environment. Glide left past one hill, then quickly rebound to the right as an imposing rock wall threatens to turn your aircraft into a charred stain. The whole time, you’ll have to keep an eye on the surface. Alien vehicles fire shots from the ground, star-shaped projectiles that will cause you to burst into flames if you should happen to collide with them.
	Darkstalkers Chronicle: The Chaos Tower review (PSP) Reviewed on January 23, 2005 Though it may have always been the black sheep of an over-achieving family, if one were to be honest it would be hard to deny the PSP release of Vampire Chronicle some well deserved dues. For yet again Capcom have put together a solid, inspired one on one fighter, imbuing each and every character with a level of personality that simply cannot be beat.
	Mega Man X8 review (PS2) Reviewed on January 22, 2005 You see, not every stage takes place with you watching from the sidelines. Sometimes, you’ll get an over-the-shoulder perspective. However, this is perfectly acceptable for two reasons. Firstly, only two areas make this deviation. And secondly, those stages are actually quite enjoyable!
	Time Lord review (NES) Reviewed on January 17, 2005 Suppose that you play through the Castle Marman level one time. You find one orb after picking mushrooms, one hanging on a tower high above a wide space, and a flying monkey (dragon?) drops another. Then there’s the one you randomly find when you jump down a set of stone columns. The last thing you really want to do the next time you play through is guess the location of that fourth orb. It’s just… not fun.
	Puyo Puyo CD review (TGCD) Reviewed on January 16, 2005 The Minions of Satan came to learn the customs of the PuyoPuyo, and used this knowledge to subjugate the pitiful little blobs by forming them into like-colored sequences of four or more. This was a great and vicious evil, for when the PuyoPuyo were connected in such a manner, they would EXPLODE into tiny, gelatinous bits.
	Legion review (TGCD) Reviewed on January 16, 2005 Legion's not cool at all. It sucks. And the depth of the developer's blunders amounts to a lot more than the vague cop-out synopsis, "it has good ideas but just isn't fun". Legion takes reasonable ideas and makes them look dumb.
	The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask review (N64) Reviewed on January 13, 2005 At times you may have to transform into a Goron to roll over that narrow hill, engage the Deku scrub's helicopter technique to cross a canyon, or use the boomerang fin trait of the Zora to hit that far off switch. The classic puzzles that have become a staple in the Zelda genre are all here and the fluctuating timing of them in each dungeon bring together a feeling of balance.

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