Review Archives (Staff Reviews)

You are currently looking through staff reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Power Strike review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2004 Power Strike (called Aleste in some parts of the world) is a Compile-developed vertical shooter in the Zanac, Blazing Lazers and MUSHA vein. While you're up against lots of the usual robot ships, the real bad guys (read: bosses) are bullet-spewing, mankind-enslaving vegetables. Time for a garden salad!
	Castle of Illusion starring Mickey Mouse review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2004 The 8-bit Castle of Illusion has to be one of the system's strongest efforts and most memorable moments. It should be on your 'must have' list, along with gems like Wonderboy II and III, Alex Kidd in Miracle World, and R-Type. With the exception of the latter, these testaments to Sega's 8-bit power were all cutesy side scrolling platforming games, and Sega took their level of expertise at making them to another level with the release of Mickey's fledgling foray into the world run by a big eared kid named Alex.
	Lord of the Sword review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2004 LotS is epic in one very real sense of the word. It's long. And ridiculously so. In fact, it's unreasonably long for a game with no passwords or saves. You'll be at it for hours on end, endeavouring to protect your vitality bar (you've only got one life) with no opportunity to leave the pedestrian proceedings to do something else. You could pause the game, and go to the washroom, or down to the kitchen to get something to eat, but if you have diarrhea, or if you're a big person or a big eater, you'll be risking damaging your unit and TV screen by leaving them on for too long.
	Altered Beast review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2004 The five stages of side-scrolling jump, punch and kick tedium in the bestiary that we played in the arcades, was dulled significantly for our Sega Genesis experience. It was dulled even further still for the four level Master System experience—an unfortunate copy of a copy—so that it is a shadow of its former self, which was a flimsy silhouette of a game to begin with.
	Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2004 The game is so colourful in fact, that a cursory glance at screenshots gives you the impression you are looking at a children’s book. Games that would appear many years later, such as Super Mario Brothers 3 and Yoshi’s Island, will spring to mind. There is a definite, simplified artistry at work in Sega’s cartridge.
	Alex Kidd in Miracle World review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2004 So what's Janken? Well, young Alex defeats his tougher foes (Janken the Great's henchmen with names like Scissorhead, whose head actually looks like a hand in the shape of scissors) by nonviolent means; bringing his great 'skill' at paper, rock, scissors to bear. Odd that a game of chance should decide so much of your progress, but there's hope. A crystal ball is available, often hidden and often stocked in shops strewn throughout what is certainly an impressive collection of locales. The ball is vital, as it allows you to see your adversary's thoughts so that you can plan your Janken 'strategy' accordingly.
	Alex Kidd: High-Tech World review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2004 Alex’s friend approaches him with an invitation to go to a new arcade. The prospect becomes more and more dubious as the fool friend not only informs us that he doesn’t know where the arcade is, but that the map he had of its location has been torn into eight pieces, all of which are lost in Alex’s castle (he’s a prince, you know). “High Tech World” is ostensibly the name Sega has given to the far off arcade, and so the game doesn’t actually occur in a world of robots and other futuristic coolness. So yes, the title is quite misleading. But don’t fret about that; there are far worse things to worry about as the game progresses.
	After Burner review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2004 This game hardly warrants five minutes of your time. While it’s true that Sega had imposed upon its underpowered Master System the difficult task of representing powerful arcade blockbusters that utilized cabinet gimmicks (such as the coin-op Afterburner’s cockpit arrangement) on the small screen at home, that’s no excuse for this sub-sub par effort. The port of Golden Axe was great, Shinobi was good, Hang On was decent, and hell, even the game that was slower than ex-rap star Mase’s delivery, Altered Beast, showed more promise.
	Sonic Heroes review (GCN) Reviewed on January 10, 2004 There is always one who is the fast one, another who flies, and a third who packs a powerful punch that can break blocks and the like. Though each team has a different plot, the way they approach the stages varies only slightly. Whether it's Knuckles or Big the Cat punching blocks, the feeling is not much different. The real sense of variety instead comes from the number of ways you can approach a given area.
	Bombastic review (PS2) Reviewed on January 10, 2004 If you manage to line up three connecting dice with that number facing up, those dice will then ignite and, after a short time, explode. This is where Bombastic gets its title. Once a set of such dice explodes, a blast extends a number of panels equivalent to the number on the dice's face.
	Toki review (NES) Reviewed on January 07, 2004 Toki is an ape. He even walks like one, and it's an endearing trait. I was pretty impressed by the genuine monkey gait he gets into, especially when he's going down a slight grade, and you see his little legs adjust and buckle as they work down the incline. It's a really cool sight, and it had me smiling. Speaking of smiling, Toki smiles a wide, gap-toothed grin after clearing a level, which looks a little bit like this: =B
	Super Mario Bros. 3 review (NES) Reviewed on January 07, 2004 We miss the point. The majority of the video game demographic is comprised of young males, so it's no wonder. We are a petty, short-sighted, goal-oriented animal. When Brad asks Sheila, ''how was the sex?'' she replies emotionally, ''an hour of wondrous lovemaking,'' seemingly putting her whole being into the response. Even so, Brad won’t be impressed: ''but did you come?''
	Super Mario Bros. 2 review (NES) Reviewed on January 07, 2004 The story is a departure from standard Mario fare. Bowser's off making kids with a mysterious sperm receptacle of a woman (the guy's like Michael Jackson - he doesn't keep the poor mother around). The demented offspring of the unsavory union would later help him rule with an iron fist in SMB3. So, to amuse himself in his nemesis's absence, Mario enlists the help of his friends: gangly green-clad brother Luigi; the stocky, mushroom-domed Toad, and the ''I can too fight just like the boys - see I'm not the quarry this time'' Princess Toadstool.
	Star Soldier review (NES) Reviewed on January 07, 2004 Right away, fast moving enemies cascade down the screen. You’ll see the inspiration for the follow up game, Super Star Soldier for the Turbografx-16 (well, obviously), but also for Blazing Lazers for that same system. You'll play this game and think, ''the vertical shooter genre hasn't come very far, has it? Star Soldier had it all!'' That's very high praise you're giving out, you know. But other than the fact that variety is lacking, and there’s no real ending, it’s true. Star Soldier does appear to have it all - Hudson Soft be praised.
	Shinobi review (NES) Reviewed on January 07, 2004 Tengen makes us laugh right away, however unintentionally. The title screen is supposed to feature the face of our hero, beneath the traditional black ninja mask. His expression should be menacing, confident, his eyes should communicate this to us. Instead, Tengen has him slightly cross-eyed, beady-eyed, and wholly lacking proper pupils. You think to yourself, ''man, if they can’t get this right…''
	Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom review (NES) Reviewed on January 07, 2004 Ninja Gaiden 2 was as beautiful as NES platformers come! Well, understandably, Ryu hasn’t changed - his sprite is virtually identical in all three games. Most of the enemies are different naturally, and they’re a decent bunch, the mostly mindless menagerie comprised mainly of zombie types and robots. Sadly, there are no high-kicking Karatekas knocking you off cliffs, or afro wearing boxers doing the same. The game has a decidedly futuristic tilt, and as such, it's robots, robots, robots, with a good deal of alien weirdness thrown in for good measure.
	Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos review (NES) Reviewed on January 07, 2004 Wrestle with darkness, dancing flames and an airborne android in the mysterious Tower of Lahja before beginning the fourth leg of the journey, where waters flow eternally and Naga Sotuva lives on, a blasphemous embodiment of dinosaurs out of time. Defeat him, and face permeating cold and ice and spikes, the unwelcome mat to the seemingly premature placement for the final confrontation with Ashtar. But indeed this is the evil place where he quietly, hermetically awaits your company, as if birthed from his dark womb that crackles with deathly energy.
	Ninja Gaiden review (NES) Reviewed on January 07, 2004 If you’ve played the arcade game with the same name, forget what you’ve seen. The Double Dragon-esque play and look of that somewhat overhead coin-op has been replaced by straight up side-scrolling swashbuckling and a massive dose of taxing platform-leaping. If Super Mario Brothers is your nemesis, you may well forget about taking on the Jaquio and his forces - you’ll be sliced and diced, dropped into bottomless pits and, despite unlimited continues, you will curse and beset upon your controller with intent to kill.
	Magmax review (NES) Reviewed on January 03, 2004 Magmax allows you to go nowhere fast. I wasn’t aware that the game was one of those simplistic early looping shooters until it registered in my laser-riddled brain that my glazed eyes had been seeing the same backgrounds pass by, over and over and over…
	Life Force review (NES) Reviewed on January 03, 2004 Take on a massive brain/Cyclops, press through tight spots raining volcanic rock, and reach the famous fire level. It might not look like much these days, but the raging, pseudo-sentient arcing flames were a technological marvel at the time of the game’s release. Was the NES really doing this? Yes, it was, and it still is.

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